The lonely planet

I tried skiing today and i suck at it...spent 35 bucks and got nothing...except tons of salt water in my mouth!! damn it!! this sucks big time!! i couldn't believe i can't even balance myself...thats sh!t!!!!

Anyway making friends really isn't my kinda thing..althought i did talked to this causcasian guy about the US economy and about the soon to come market crash...but still it wasn't that interesting!! don't get it wrong i was interested in the topic..but then...dunno what went wrong...i just co not know what else to say..

I realise this guy really know his stuff...he speaks like ryan too...which can be irritating...i mean..come on...he knows almost everything and there is no way i can talk to a guy like that...he will just drown me with all his knowledge!! but...i did manage to scoup some of his immerse knowledge...and hopefully i can be as good as him...this caucasian guy...

No wonder he is doing finance cause...he really know his stuff...i am impress yet....still i was bored! Anyway i think sometimes i can be irritating to others...they probably start thinking i am like a stalker with no friends...actaully i wouldn't say i am a stalker...but no friends yes.... kinda....its not that i have totally no friends..but all my friends have their own lifes...which is so seperate from mine...

It simply means...when i need them... they are no where to be found..not that he are avioding me..but they have their own stuff to do...their girlfriends..their work...and other stuff..i seriously ain't blaming no one here...but the thing is..i probably need to start looking for friends or a group of people with the same interest as me..which i do not know what it is...i personally loves team sports...i always envy those footballers on tv not becos they have tons of cash...but the fact that they can have fun with other footballers on the pitch and they train and have fun together...its like you get to share you happiness and sorrow...

Thats something i will never be able to do now...hopefully it will change..but i doubt so...i will going to lead a very lonely life for a very long time..with no one to share my problems with...not even happy moments...

Sometimes when i think of something funny and or i saw something...there is no one to call and tell them about the moments...i would look through my long list of contacts but..i will never know who to msg....i mean i wouldn't want them to think i am bothering their lifes by constanly messaging them...

There are a couple of people whom i will share some happy stuff with...but saddness..well NAH...no one wanna hear your sad story or your problems...they dun care...its okie to share funny stuff but...sad stories...they will probably just wish you kept it to yourself...

The very common replies when they hear your sad story would be...oh okie...then they change topic....like i say so many times...no one cares!

Isn't it sad when there is no one there to share your opinions and thoughts? well you must be thinking come on grow up stop being a baby and be more independant....and you might be right,...i maybe too pampered that i can't even survive being alone..

i can't being alone and no one there to share anything with me...i wanna be able to tell people funny stuff...i want to be able to laugh with someone when we both saw something cute or weird...but these will never happen..my social skills is really hitting rock bottom here..its definately not gravity defying

When can i be able to have my group of friends? a group that hang out together...a group that does everything together...i am a team player...or at least i wanna be inside a team.

No one will get to read all this shit becos...it will never be publish...i am just sharing how lonely i am living in a lonely neighbourhood with no one living near me! my life is full of hatrate and thats probably one thing that gets me going on and on...i will always be the first to die...none of you will die before me!! no one will ever see my tears!