Efforts put in doesn't equal results!

I sincerely think i am a rather possesive boyfriend...well okie maybe not possesive...i just demand lots of attention from my gf...which isn't a good thing...i mean come on..i alwaya tell my friend...well i don't really care what my gf do as long as she doesn't upset me...actually...its partly true....

I just want is attention from her....well call me a girl...but...i just am a person who needs lots of attention since i have been greatly deprieve of it since young...oh well...being my gf is gonna be tiring....

Things always happen at the wrong moment to screw my life up....we had all the time last year to move house and nothing happen...

Just as my exams are around the freaking corner...great we sold our place...looking for a new place and finally found the place...now moving...during my exams!! life is so screwed!!

When i had all the time in the world...no girl entered my life...just as my life is getting f-u-c-k-ed up...suddenly this girl appear....damn it!!

whats with my weird life....feeling really morbid life...sometimes....i keep thinking if i were to die at that very instance how many people will feel guilty that they mistreat me? will my ex be upset? will my girlfriends cry for me? will my current cry and be upset?

Probably all the above will not cry...i will just be forgotten after a few days....i mean...who the hell am i to them? just a boyfriend....who is just a phase of their life....i did not etched a memory deep enough for any of them to remember me for life.

I went to surprise my current today by buying her some stuff that she has been craving for since the past few days....all i wanted was to see a smile on her face and probably say "what a sweet boyfriend you are darling"...is that really too much to even ask?

I mean all i really want was my gf to express how happy she was at the moment...okie i won't say its the god damn sweetest anyone would have done...but...comeon...its an sweet effort...i deserve some credit than just a simple thank you. its so freaking disappointing when...you see no expression on her face or...the whole situation didn't turn out the way you expected it..

This is why...guys get tired of doing something sweet for their gf....they simply don't appreciate any sweet stuff the guy did...i mean....even if they were happy....they don't show...what...you think a guy should always do sweet stuff to make the gf happy? And it will kill you to acknowledge his effort by showing how you feel at that point in time?

Do you even know how disappointing it is..when you make an effort trying to brighten up someone's day and...ola!!...that person wasn't a least bit happy...or surprise...or even if she is...she doesn't show it....cool...i mean if you girls wanna be shy even to your boyfriend....this totally deter him from making an effort....i mean the sole purpose of a guy wanting to make such an effort was just to see a simple smile on the gf's face and make her happy...if none of that even happen...then whats the vittun point of even making such an effort...

To all the boyfriends out there who tried and got disappointed...i feel you all....i am sincerely...holding back now...why sink in too deep when you ain't getting the results you were expecting for...