Commitments!

commitment issues....people normally think of me as someone who aint wanting to commit because well i still wanna play around...i am a flirt...i two time...so on and so forth...

well seriously...i am not a playboy...plus i have no qualities of being one...and its so unfair cause...people think you are those kinda of person yet you didn't even have the decent opportunity to enjoy being a playboy...or whatsoever..

Plus come on...have you people looked at me? if i look like a playboy..i would probably be on deal or no deal hunks edition..I am probably more suitable to be on deal or no deal dork edition...

anyway people don't know me well...why do i breakup? well cause i don't wanna end up like my dad....ruining people's life...not being able to stick to just one bloody woman...

I seriously do not know whats the cause of it...but i am thinking well probably..its because my mum's his first woman...and then they got married...so probably he needs to date more before he finds the right one..

But then again...that might not be the case...being his son..i am so sure i will become just like him...if the problem can be solved by just dating more...pls...i will gladly do that...but i kinda think its not that simple anymore...

It comes down to me starting to think...not being involved in a long term relationship would be the best way to avoid a calamity from happening and becoming a vicious cycle...

When people say i should not be ruining girls life by dating them...its kinda sad...cause i am just like everyone? i just wanna find the right girl...and be with her...i just wanna lead a happy and romantic life...but with the fear inside me...people just don't understand...they think i just like to flirt around and cant commit because i hadn't had enough fun...yet...

seriously...who doesn't wanna lead a happy life? but apparently not everyone can do it...its just sometimes...you ain't able to find the right girl...because you don't really have the urge to wanna spend the rest of you life with her...and to me thats the most important aspect of life...

Actually i thought i found one...but she left me...for her country...well maybe it wasnt meant to be maybe its because i didn't know her well enough thats why i am starting to have illusions..

I am really starting to put hopes into this soulmate theory and it better work out well for me...because i seriously have nothing else to rely on...this is my only hope! finding the GIRL.

Now...i don't know if i am being jealous or what...but deep down i really hate all this JC kids...its like in my blood to really rid them from these face of the country...man..i hate them so much...i can really do some nasty things to them...

I am thinking i really do have this really psychotic side within me...cause...when i think of revenge i really see all these crazy stuff going through my mind....yes i know its crazy...but this anger within me...its like a demon waiting to get out...its scary...but yet...sometimes i feel like releasing this demonic soul within me and let it roam freely...

There are times it almost got out...but well i kinda manage to get it under control...its like he/she has yet to break open the last gate...and i am constantly leaving by the edge...

Having this demon within...is kinda cool at times...because you know what its capable of...and it feels good when you really pissed with someone...and you just cant wait to unleash the demon and let it take over your body completely...

Well i hope i ain't going to jail for all these crap...no worries...demon still within and not getting out anytime soon!