DON'T you judge me!

I swear i will never let CK beat me in bowling again! so frustrating...but..well i would say he deserve the win since i mean he had a couple of strikes in a row...i have nothing to say... i wil just have to rent him the titleship belt for the moment. next week i will get it back!

Anyway belt isn't the main concern now...whats important is...my face is getting rounder...i mean...what the hell? no way am i allowing that to happen to me! i need to exercise maybe doing 100 pushes or 150 pushes a day is going to help me achieve that...and since i am going sentosa this weekend...i am going to built up my body...can't be fluanting my flabby muscles around the b!tches...i mean beaches....damn...fingers is getting way too fast for me to handle....

Anyway my ex message me saying she will not get into a relationship with any other guy so she wouldn't get upset...by anyone...well serious...i am nhot a bad bf myself...and...its really up to her...anyway i think she is having fun flirting her way with all the guys around her...so there isn't a need to get into a relationship...its really not my problem....

anyway i think i am really not good with girls...i never know how to make them happy...nor...satisfy them...both on bed or off bed...well thats what all guys think about anyway!..yah...i never know how to say things to make them happy or make them feel love or treasure!

WEll why am i like that....basically its becos i am cowardy! yes i am a coward...and i have a very huge ego...so no way am i degrading myself just to make girls happy...no no...erm...well... i do say jokes...but...most of the time my jokes ain't funny at all..why? i have no idea...i am no cut for comedy....comedy doesn't run in my family...violences does...we throw things when we get angry and later regret over it...but at that point of when i agressively throw that stuff i feel really good about it...its like i finally am able to trash something and let my temper take over my body and yeah!!

Today i almost kill my sister because i was very angry for knocking my own head against the cupbaord and she was laughing all the way...well its like there is a slight impluse that almost cause me to snap my sister's throat...and i am capable of doing it...but...my better self got over me and told me not to do it...or else my beast inside will definately do it..

Don't you judge me! everyone has a beast inside them...the 2 ocassion where the beast inside you will erupt is when..you are horny...thus...your beast inside you...or your horny beast below you will take full control over your mind body and soul! being the horny beast you are...you will do whatever things to satisfy your horniness...even the most gentleman has a beast inside them...comeone...we are just beast who war clothes people..

The second way to release the beast out will be when you get angry..everyone has different level of control. meaning...everyone has different level of tolerance before the beast is being release out from prison deep inside your body. okie this is my theory...right...but...whatever...everyone has a beast lock up deep inside them..and why is it lock...well because we are leaving in a society that beast are meant to be lock up in cages...so in order not to let ourself being lock up literally in cages...we lock our inner beast in our own soul cages...and the only wayt to really open up and the cage and let the beast run wild will be the above 2 method!...horny or angry...notice it both ends with the letter Y. why is this so?

the reason being...its sounds the same as the word WHY. And why does this 2 words trigger the beast to be release...its all explain above so scroll up and read it all over again... so...you must be wondering...why does it ends with the letter Y. well ulitmately..its really up to you...if you want to use a diff alpahbet to spell the word horny and angry...its really up to your own dicreetion...i mean who am i to tell you hey...horny and angry is spell with a Y inside...i am just a normal guy...spell it all you want!

Ok back to my topic on innner beast! you must be curious on is there a way to control the beast and not let it out...yes there is...but it require you to undergo lots of training before you are capable of doing it...well i won't say you will be able to totally lock the beast up forever...maybe you will just be able to raise the stakes higher or tolerance level higher thus...being able to endure more humilation or seduction before the beast is being release. you get what i mean? well i don't feel like giving an exmaple so...go think about it yourself...use your imagination.

normally it takes years and lots of determination to increase the level. i have been trying to curb my horniess level...but i have been a failure...i couldn't stop myself from looking through pics when i am bored..and metal bars holding my beast are kinda flimsy...thin they are and easily remove...i am a bad example...but i will continue to work on it...and raise the level of endurance when looking at pretty ladies...

Oh for example...today i saw this girl...who i think is quite pretty but she smokes...and normally whe i girl smokes i will totally not even consider he...but since i think she is rather quite pretty and since i keep bumping into her....my mind starts to run wild! althought i ain't able to get close to her...in my mind i have already bed her more than once...well thats reallu bad thing to do...because i shouldn't be doing things like that...she smokes...i mean if she doesn't smokes then its okie...but the bottom line is she smokes! damn!

wait you must be thinking huh? shouldn't i not even be thinking about bedding her in my won mind...thats totally unacceptable...well..hey told you i am a bad example..so beat it! and don't your judge me!

Hope you get what i am trying to say! the end!