Sunday, October 14, 2007

LONELINESS

In the end.. i still end up being lonely...i thought capoeira would finally bring me happiness by giving me something to concentrate on...something that would give me more confidence...finally something that i really enjoy doing and hoping to do well...but somehow...i might not be cut for capoeira at all...

I can't seems to fulfil some of the goals i set for myself...all i know i did quite well was probably my basic ginga...but however...somehow when i look at myself in the mirror i still think i look stupid....nothing seems to be going my way....when i looked at my results from school i think i have totally disappoint myself and probably anyone who has hopes in me....

i seriously wanted to perfect my capoeira skills...but i think i am just not cut for it....i am always mediocre in everything i do...like studies...bowling....pool...swim...games...computer..basketball...football...driving....and now capoeira...

I seriously thought capoeira was the one for me...i thought..i seriously could pull it off...maybe i was wrong again...however the passion is still burning strong inside me...i don't wanna give up as yet....but do i have the ability to carry on my passion? do i have the potential to carry on feeding my own passion?

By looking at a more pragmatic view...will i have the time and money to support my passion? when will this passion of mine died out...who knows...well just have to take things as it comes....