I may not be....

I may not be the richest guy in the world

neither am i the smartest guy in the world

Neither am i the ugliest looking guy in the world

But my heart is real (duh) and its only beating for you. without you..it will probably still continue beating...but probably it will a sad beat. It will no longer be a happy beat.

The difference between a sad beat and a happy beat...well... erm...let see..the sad best beat as a sad, low and careless tone, while the happy beat sounds like a healthy heart.

I mean when you are sad and lonely..your immune system will kinda get lower and..well..then...you will fall sick and your heart get weaker so..you will get a low and unhealthy beat. sounds logical?

I mean when one gets really upset...he/she will be deluded into major depression and then...his/her heart will not be able to function as properly as a normal heart where the host isn't in depression.Anyway you get what i mean...

Wait...what is the purpose of this post? i kinda forgot...i mean alex doesn't even read my post...and..well..i already said we don't have the spark anymore...i think! erm..so who is this post for in the first placE? now..am i gettting old and senile?

Jenna come online...i need someone to talk to...old guy here needs security

The new begining

This is a new chapter of my life...First i cut my hair...super short...well okie still longer as compared to army days...but...then short..not to mention having a tail at the back of my head...well the hairdresser decided to not cut and leave me a tail hair...or whetever you call that..

Second i stop working..and now i would call myself useless and liability to the society...i have totally nothing to do..besides playing games watching movies...at home and tv programs..not to mention also listening to some of the new musics...from youtube...

Now now...how boring can one life get...I seriously can't wait for school to start so i could actually have reason to get out of my house and...well..at least meet up with friends do something with my slowly aging life...i can't be staying home and waiting for death...thats not me..!! i am a guy who needs to work and work...i need thitngs to do..challenging things not routine mundane stuff like stapling papers!!

I would LOVE to make decisions for a company...anyway...yesterday alex and i..well we kinda have a little talk...about us...okie maybe we didn't...its only me having the conversationw tih her and she just give me replies that are 1 word the most 2 words.

Here is how it goes..i asked her if well...can we still be together...she says yes. That is if i can take it that she isn't going to be online for most of the time and she can't reply any of my sms.

Well i replied with a deffinate yes yesterday...well i was pretty impulse on lost of other stuff yesterday...so..yes this is one of it...

I mean...i am not being sensitive or anything like that...but...erm...we were communicating on msn like how sharon and i will communicate on msn NOW. Which means its not a conversation between a couple...or whetever you call it...its more of a conversation with you not so close friends...to simplify it...its conversation with your distant friends. i am not calling sharon my distant friend...but..well actually yes she is quite distant...but its really more of how i will message to my ex instead of my gf.

I seriously still have feelings..i think...but i can't feel any from her part...okie i am not piss...i just thought i kinda get more excited seeing jenna online than her...thats how weird it is....and to further clarify its not that i have feeligns for jenna...but its just that..at least jenna and i are having normal friends conversation...as compared to quite or close to not talking at all conversation with alex whom is suppose to be my "gf".

NOw i am not biatching about the fact that i should move and and blah blah blah like what i did in my previuos few post... i just think alex have fall into the catergory of friends that you will not deffinately talk to even when you see her online..whereelse jenna would be under the catergory of you would want to talk to even she is not online! thats how it is...

And damn! i bought papers but i still have not start with my cards damn it! thats so sad!

I need my life back

AM i being too possesive?...now i kinda think i might be the one having problems and putting too much pressure...gosh...what is wrong with me..this is not right..i shouldn't be behaving this way...i mean...i am paraniod and utterly possesive...damn...whats the fusk is wrong with me...

I need my life back god damn it..i hate myself for being too pushy...yucks! i meaqn i hate girls for being too pushy..and why am i being pushy myself? damn! this is so not right...okie...probably need some life altering experience to get my old life back..where i will have fun with all my army friends..and go clubing go beach..and do all the fusk sh!t with my friends..and not staying at home pondering over questions like why didn't alex reply my message...gosh..this is so not right...it seems like i am pretty self obessess...erm...

But to be honest with myself i doubt i can move on just with a snap of my little fingers..its pretty much impossible for that kinda thing to happen...yap...i need time..and probably a new relationship...no joke...the best way to recover from a heartbreak would be to start a new relationship..fall some some other girls and then..well you will someone forget about the previous one...thats how things is...or thats who life works..

Its not really like treating the new girl like a replacement or anything like that...i mean if you truely fall in love with her..and she actually make you forget about the previous girl..then..i don't think she is just a replacement...she will be more of a ...erm.. girl you fall in love with..and i am talking about real feeling not some physical feelings...of course..the physcial part is part of the whole package but..what more importantly..is...the feelings...i mean..the physcial part doesn't help you forget about your ex-gf...its the brand new feelings you acquire that helps...

I mean if physcial stuff does help....i wouldn't be feeling upset right now...i could have solve my problems long ago...so its not really about the 3 letter word..its about the 4 letter word...the one beginning with the word F...yes yes..its that word you don't have to doubt your own intuition...its gotta be that word thats in your mind! the word that will make you happy...change your life...and brings a smile to your face when you sleep...

So do we all have the same word in your mind right now? of course we have..its none other than the word FEEL. If you feel for someone...it will bring sunshine to your life and install a permanent smile onto your face everynight when you got to bed. so people the only way to forget about unhappy stuff is to have the 4 letter word begining with F.

Oh...just to add something...theres another 4 letter word beginning with the letter F would also probably makes one happy...and yes you got it...its the word Food. jaana!

To all the nice people

It weird how..i get really excited about going to sentosa...erm...come on!! its not because i get to know girls at sentosa...but i can get to make friends are sentosa...yes thats right...its not just girls....but friends...but...erm...i don't think i will probably know guys at sentosa...yeap...but seriously i don't really go sentosa to know girls only...to highlight its just friends.

Playing beach football is kinda cool i think...yeah...i am looking forward to trashing some foreigners in football...prefferably the world champions...or some english...yeah..come on!! we are going to show you how good of a defender i am...my favourtite and most powerful defending technique is the vicious 2 leg challenge. But i haven't really use it before...but i kinda think it will be a powerful technique and i will truely be known for it! probably italy might draft me to be their defend after i master and finally use my 2 leg challenge...

now now now..i am really excited about going sentosa now..but its kinda weird before... i don't realy like going in a big groups now unlike last time...i use to believe the more the merrier...but erm...now i kinda think..more bigger the group the higher the likely hood that girls or friends will be scare of by us...so...now..i think the small the better...not the figure...but the figures..

But i think tomorrow i am going in a huge group...okie...it doesn't matter..if i can't make friends...i will just...erm...trash some foreigners in football...make them cry and beg for us to teach them how to play ball!

I wonder how is it like to kiss a stranger... erm..or how does it feel to kiss a girl infront of your girlfriend...ouch..but..yah...oh..i tried kissing a taller girl and a much shorter girl..wonder how it feels like to kiss a girl who is about the same height as me...preferrably...erm... 165 to 170? yeah probably i will find a girl who is 165 - 170 on my next excursion...yeah...probably

I am seriously wondering how it feels..anyway have you ever get so happy when you see someone online that...you get excited for no reason..okie besides the reason of seeing the person online..

Yah i mean like get so happy that you kinda just laugh for no reason...thats how happy i get when i see jenna online...and sometimes i had so much anticipation of seeing her online that i will on the computer immediately after i reach home and on my msn..and hoping to see the word jenna.sci.fi online...no joke...but to get this straight..its not because i am in love or anything...but its just...erm..probably in love as in friendship.

Yah...probably i think jenna is one of the person that i can really talk to and she really listens to what i have to say like ben lee..seriously...when i saw ben online i have the urge to message him too..and its even stronger with jenna...so..yah..you know sometimes..or most of the times...you don't even feel like talking to most of the people that are online on your msn list...but these are the people you just want to message the very moment you see them online!! yes these are the people.

Cheers to all the nice poeople out there!

The worst way to hurt someone

Tell me it sucks that when a girl kiss you and she is looking at a poster with a rockstar in it...how cool would it be...

It just shows that you are a fusking bad kisser or...you are just totally wasting her time by kissing her...

Well you might be thinking...hey...maybe she can multi-task...or maybe you can really concentrate and kiss at the same time...well...seriously i don't really think so...i kinda tried doing the exact same thing...and it really didn't turn out the right way.. i totally couldn't feel as if i was kissing somone...and it turns out to be a chores then something you enjoy doing...so...if a girl does that to you...seriously...the feeling kinda sucks! and how would i know? i was a victim?

Well my friend told me...come on never to give up on a relationship cause "if one of you give up on the love and the other one chooses to give up too because of that, then what's left of it?"

Well i am not sure if there is anything to begin with in the first place!! come on!! looking at a poster when you are kissing your boyfriend? even if i was a fling...that seriously isn't right at all!! come on!! damn!

No one should really do that to anyone...especially if that somsone is a nice person...no joke! Its like the worst thing you could do to somone...its just wrong..its so wrong!! damn wrong

Well i don't really know what i am going to say now...beside i am not that pissed off anymore...erm...just....well...lets take things as it is...okie its time to sleep to cool off!

anyway...seriously...if you really hate that person and you wanna do something to hate him/her real bad...try doing that...while kissing look at some other girls/guys...it will probably hurt the person so badly that he/she wil never stand up again...

Whatever intention you have or excuse...i just think its still no right...oh...so if i really like the person i shouldn't give up? well...who knows...life is full of up and downs...but if it had neevr once started then there is no point being persistence over it...santa claus here i come

Frustrations bottling up

Its really cruel of you....not even a sms...not even a reply...nothing...how could you even do that to me? damn!

I don't know if i should be worry upset or anything...it might even be dumb of me to get angry...well i ain't really angry just disappointed...even your sister made an effort to reply my sms....i mean...i give it to you that you are really busy..but too busy even for an sms? comeon! thats ridiculous...I don't really wanna talk about this anymore...

this totally ruin my day...my whole week and next week!! damn! argh!! when a guy is in super bad mood..its probably not wise to invest in any stock...cause you wil definatley be implusive just like me!

Oh..by the way...i totally give up on even...trying to smsing you and hoping to hear from you...its really dumb of me...i mean in the first place i already knew things like this doens't work yet i am still trying to give it a shot! damn! this is so embarrassing...cause i use to be the one dissing others about long distance relaionship and saying how impossible it is...yet i am the one falling for it! what the fusk! this is so wrong!!

what the fusk got into me? getting emotional and all...and getting pissed over everything...okie...i need to really get over it and cool down...probably...not coming online for a few days would really be a good antidote for me..

okie i need to go cool myself down and not get pissed off at this kinda sh!t again... no more dumb believing for me...i got to really growup of this kinda Sh!t...

damn i need to live like a tourist...if i can't get out of the country probably i will get out of the island and to a chalet...maybe alone or...the most with someone who is willing to spend time with me and hear me crap!

Jeryy sounds like a good candidate...well others include....i don't know...can't think of any people...beside jerry...but he seems busy with work too...probably will just go alone...like i am going swimming alone again...and probably stay home alone watching tv again...and probably...erm...be alone for the rest of next week!

I just need to be alone and live like a tourist alone...so much for sharing happiness!! who cares about your happy moments, if it doesn't even bothers them? I mean this is how pragmatic life is...come on think about it...if you can't experience the happy moment...i mean...why be happy over it? its just someone else being happy...its not you...so why even bother about listening to others happy story?

Seriously even thou they sound as if they are listening deep down they ain't really listen...they are just entertaining you...no one cares! It just about not making your friends upset by saying things like you don't really care..friends are just there not to share your happy moments...they are there so that they can saying thigns that you like to hear...thats how lifes is...people only want to hear good things even from their closet friends...there really isn't true friendship...

Everyone is really about their own gain...by making your friends happy...you kinda get their company and no one wanna get lonely...deep down everyone love to be love..thus...when you friend seems to be listening to your complains and all...think again...he/she might be just entertaining you without really listening to all your sh!t.

I just say what i feel and seriously if you don't like what i say...like i always said...don't read it...it doesn't kills to not click on the stupid link...i didn't force you to read this stupid crap and all...fusk you all!!

I saw my new colleague wearing a pink underwear today...cool...but she is just a young girl..and..there is no slots...

Girls who smokes totally doesn't attract me...but it doesn't mean we can't be friends... i am a man of my word jenna...no matter who pissed i am with this damn "relationship" or if its even considered a relationship...i will still get my ass to finland...one of these days...i may not be rich but i ain't going to break my fusking promise to a girl..so will be there even thou we ain't friends no more...but will be there..

The first time

This first time I met you..well i thought you hate me....I thought you wouldn't care less about what we do..so..well we didn't even think about approaching and starting a conversation..

The first time...I was introduced to you..well i thought you really hate me and you really couldn't care less about my name. And i thought you really thought we are like jerks who just looking for one night stand..

I first time i sit down and really had a conversation with you...I thought you find me boring and didn't waant to talk to me as I didn't interest you at all..so..well I tried harder to make you laugh...but...to no avial..

The first time i went to your house...I was super duper excited...but i acted as if i am tired...actually i am kinda tired...but i just didn't want to act as if i am too excited and all...I tried to make conversation and have fun with you...and..well...it didn't came out the way i wanted it to be...

The first time we had fun...i had fun...It was also the first time i realise you had a fun side and you don't really hate me...yeah!!

The first time we were all asked to choose who we wanted to be with...I knew its gotta be you...well i don't know why...but the first thing that came to my mind was you..

The first time you stand over me and tried to lift me up from the floor...i knew...there is something going on....between us..i think...

The first time we watched movies and i didn't kiss you...i knew it was the greatest mistake iof my life and i turn out to totally regret it..

The first time you came to my house and we end up kissing...i knew it was going to be the happiest moment thats going to happen to me after sharon...And that kinda washed away the regret i had on wed which is also brenz birthday where we watched pirates of the carribbean.

The first time i held you hand...i knew..i wouldn't want to let it no no matter what..i rather let a car run me down then let go of your hands.

The first time i looked deeply in your eyes..i knew you have one of the prettiest eyes...i ever seen face to face..in fact i think you even have prettier eyes than some of the celebs...but to me...you had the best looking eyes..

The first time i had to send you off and realise its probably going to be the last time i will ever see you again...i thought to myself i will be able to get over it...but i was wrong...althought i was smiling...my heart was tearing plus all the upset moments combined.

The first time i woke up knowing you ain't going to be there for me anymore...i almost cried...but guys shouldn't cry that easily..so i didn't...instead i went to do lots of push up to get rid of all the saddness...and i had so much saddness in me that i hurt my arm while doing all the ridiculous amounts of pushes up.

The first time i fell in love with you i wanted it to be the last time i fall for anyone...

This isn't a poem...but if you think its a poem..then treat it as a poem...so..do you think i can have my own biography? probably will get better sales than cashley cole...the renegade asshley gold

Sexist is so wrong

I am being lamblasted for being sexist? am I? probably...now i realise why i can't really date my friends...cause they all hate me...cause i am sexist...joking about womens body and all...now i am really being mean come to think about it...

I jus thought its funny but it isn't! no one has the right to say anything like these...its not right... i mean who am i to criticse a women's boobs or butt crack or to brand them under the catergory sloots or biatch?

I am not god i ain't perfect...so...i shall be awaken from my sicken ways and turn back...and hope to be forgiven by all my females friends. I don't mean to think your boobs are small or too big...Its just my personal opinion...and I was wrong to even have that kinda opinion! sorry! i sincerely apologize for admireing your boobs..anyway you probably wouldn't be reading this...but i am just sorry.

What i am trying to say is a women's boobs isn't everything a guy should look out for...and its not the butt or the waist or the hands or anything like that...its the character...okie now i feel like i am lying...okie sorry again...i love to be nice...but its not possible for me...i mean...lets be pragmatic...in this world...looks and figures are everything everyone look for regardless it being a guy or girl...its normal...so i don't really wanna crap about the inner beauty and all...because it kinda comes only after the looks.

Well well...okie i am suppose to be nice...okie okie...looks is what everyone look out for but it isn't the most important...its just superficial...and i am superficial like i say...but hey...everyone has a past and what most important is iam willing to change. I am willing to change to being a less superficial guy so i can be with all the pretty girls...well..that kinda am being contradictin...but come on..things like that takes time...i cna't change at the very instant right?

Anyway to all girls i have offended in the past i sincerely apologize...and its not funny making fun of girls...well at least its not funny to girls...but to guys its really funny...opps....sorry! curse myself for straying away...and to really compensate for all i have done!!

I am willing to insult guys with small d!cks...till my sins is being clear amen!

The national day rally

I KNEW IT!!!! The government is thinking of joining sites like friendster or myspace! yeah! can't wait to add them and make friends...it will be so cool!!

Anyway Why do the media keep shooting people yawning closing their eyes and taking a rest when my prime minister is talking? this is not right! The director of the rally should be sent for exile! For showing stupid clips!

So i think my dreams of seeing hsien long on friendster might just come through afterall...

Oh the rally is pretty funny and yet it hightlights couple of the serious matters that personally i am kinda concern...like attracting foreign babes to sentosa so i can pick them up...or...attracting only talents that have talents...i kinda like the idea of having banners on CNA or maybe google saying click here to make singapore babies!

It kinda solves the baby problems and problem 2nd generations foriegn sperm..i mean talent...yah...imagine reading it...instead of click here and stand a chance to win a greencard....you get click here and you get a chance to have a singapore baby where he will get a chance to play with rifles when he grows up!

Oh one way to seriously make us feel totally singaporean!!! STOP MOBILIZING ME! god damn it! how many times you wan to see my face and maybe my finger!? i am really patriotic but come on stop asking me to go back and make me where my army uniform..it might be a fashion statement to some...but deffinately not to me...so please wise up and stop asking me back...I am a singaporean who loves singapore but calling me back for physically tiring stuff is...well...anti patriotic to me...its as good as wating my god damn time...and thus i think its not doing me any good...thus...it will make me think if my country doesn't care about my time...why bother to be patriotic...i mean...come on...my ancestors are immigrants so we could probably adapt ourselevs else where....so please don't chase us away...by pissing us off!!

Now now now...i am really patriotic guy....so don't get me wrong..

If my forefathers were to kept out of singapore..well...maybe he will go amercia or probably england or finland...well...i am just thinking...i love singapore...And i hate racist people! fusk you all racist fuskers!

UNFAITHFUL

Have you guys watch the movie unfaithful? I can't take it no more!! Its killing me!! Whenever i watch that fusking show..its boils me to think that the wife aqctually cheats on her husband with a guy whom she barely know and i mean..come on!! after doing it with the other guy in public she even isn't going to give it to her husband at home!

What the fusk is this sh!t??? this is not right!! argh...this is killing me!! why why why is the tv showing this?? i mean she is actually happy about visiting her fusking boyfriend and neglecting her husband!! fusking hell!! She can't bare to not fusk? is she that fusking desperate that she had to do it with another guy? Her husband is really a nice person!! Does it mean that just because he can't satsify you...you will have to find others? a guy with a bigger d!ck? what the fusk! Argh!! Why is my blood boiling? its just a show...but its so fusking real!! i mean case like that do happen!! what the fusk is this!! fusk fusk fusk fusk fusk!

I hate cheaters! At least even if you are cheating treat your husband nicely....don't let him suspect of anything!! like...have romantic s-e-x with him...in the bathtub even when you already done it with your boyfriend in the day! And please your husband comes first...not your boyfriend!! always put your husband in first piority...before..you start getting horny and start to go fusking your fusking boyfriend! this is really killing me!

I can't breath properly...watching this piece of sh!t...argh!!! lord help me!! get over this anger!! this is so not right...

Anyway I went to sentosa today with a half-bottle of vodka and sat beside some british girls...at the exact same spot...where we meet alex and cata.. well...i thought probably by talking to some other girls i might just get alex off my mind..so i got drunk...or high then i summon enough guts and i approach the british girl...well i didn't really appraoch...i just turn my head and talk to her..since she was just like beside me!

Well I was so wrong... the more i interact with her...the more..i feel i need alex...or at least she reminds me of those time i was talking to alex.. althought she is bit different as in she is more talkative as compared to alex...and...she totally doesn't look like alex..

Anyway I started to think of alex more and more that i decided i should stop talking to the british girl anymore...so i just lean back and lay down on the sand...and well..rest...i was drunk remember! then i drink more vodka and more vodka till the bottle is empty..oh and i am sufferring from a freaking headache!

oh just in case you are curious...well i didn't talk to the girl for long...we didn't have dinner or neither did i get her h/p number or anything like that..so..yah..its jut a normal conversation. Just being a friendly singaporean..thats all!

another thing struck me when she actually reply jerry and i...i kinda thought she thought we were cute thats why she bothers to even reply us...but the idea soon got burshed off by myself cause...i was constantly thinking of other girls and i was really drunk...wasted...

Probably i should start approaching local girls as not to remind myself of alexandra..oh its the same spot near 711.... Anyway jerry and i concluded that we are kinda like rascal and we just deserve to be r@pe by womens...and thats another story...oh and probably boob slap

Getting cocky

Being superficial is really who i am...Seriously...i can't imagine myself dating a girl whom no one thinks is pretty..well...yes thats who i am...you might think i am fusk up...well you can put it that way...

Did someone mention about love is blind? well...i don't really know about that...but...i kinda think i need her to be presentable...yes yes i am shallow...and superficial...everything that a jerk has...is all within me...so what? i am happy being who i am. ditch me if you think i am not good enough.

Its like...If you are going to be upset over a girl...let it be a pretty girl...if a girl is going to leave you for another guy...at least let the girl be a pretty girl...its life! or its my life!...

Anyway having dated alex...(girl) I think my life is pretty much screwed! now i have the mentality that no girls i date will be better than that! And that cause you to lose interest in almost every kinda thing! I don't even think of bedding sharon anymore. not that she isn't sexy...but i just lose interest...and not that i am comparing sharon with alex..(girl) its just different.. never really had a overseas girlfriend before.

Its not the kinda been there done that feeling...its more of like been there...wanna stay there kinda thing...and seriously...this mentality of nothing else can be better than what i had expexrience is probably gonna prove to be my downfall as i will be too cocky to start dating and..probably not get laid for the next few more years...Hope i don't resort to prostituitions...well i don't think so...but...damn...that day better not come...or i will be a really sad man/boy...


Oh yah..saw a chinese/malay guy with a relaly pretty caucasian girl today while waiting for the train...it brings memories back..and somehow i think its better for me to forget so i can probably move on...well..did saw couple of other pretty girls while waiting for train too..

Funny how people tickle me. I laugh easily

Some people just crack me for no reasons!! Today i was calling customer to inform them about their loan status...so it goes like this..

Hello...may i speak to XXX, I am calling from GE regarding your loan status. May I have your I/C for verification please...Blah blah blah..

Then i go on telling her, Your loan has been approve its for XX months and your monthly installment is $XXX...

Now heres the funny part... Instead of saying okie..like what most customer would say...she ask me..."now what should i do?"...of course given my heck care attitude towards work...i burst out laughing...I wa thinking...how am i suppose to know what you are suppose to do with your money? Should i say something like please hold on while i transfer you to our what shall you do with your money department?

press 1 for charity, 2 for 4-D 3 for TOTO and 5 for horse racing..

I mean she is the one who borrowed the money and when her loan is approve she ask me what is she suppose to do now? oh my god...some people just crack me up for the weirdest reason...of course she sounded rather pissed off...but do you think i really care? Even if she complained to the customer service and i got fired! i will be satisfied cause i really did have a good laugh about it! damn! its like the joke of the night! everyone was laughing so damn loudly!

Oh anyway today we had a new colleague with really huge (.)_(.) DAmn i mean they are really huge! its like 2 palm size! no i am not kidding...then...i thought maybe i should introduce myself to her...so i waited for a chance where we will be alone together...then i approach her...asking her questions like did she just graduated from UNI or POLY well just normal conversation...with the intention of making love....ly friends...then...i go on sticking out my hand and introducing my own name...

Much to my surprise she replied with...sorry i am attached!....erm...well...then it struck me...did i protray myself as being a desperatly horny guys in need to some milk? or did i appraoch her in a manner too aggressive? okie...I mean i didn't really asked if she is single or attached...but its pretty generous of her to share her personal stuff with me..

SO does having big milk storage container and attached barr you from making friends with your horny colleagues...well..i don't really know...but...anyway i was just kidding..i didn't appraoch her nor did she say anything to me...nothing happen between us...no conversation happened...i was just imagining...but i think she does find me cute because i realise she keeps looking in my direction and when i look at her she looked away...well...what can i say...i must be dreaming again...

Ok...so not all girls like me...i got to remember that....damn! If only all the girls that i deem gorgeous all love me! then i wouldn't be spending my time typing this god damn post which no one reads! fusk!

Damn you all girls who i deem pretty and doesn't love me! You all should regret for your regretful decisions!

I crack under pressure

Now now now...TOday something really funny and worrying happened to me! I am a guy who ain't really adaptable to changes! or should i say sudden changes! damn!

Today i made a fool out of myself at work...its like i suddenly went blank when i did something that is totally different from what i normally do...it only means my brain is so straight forward that i can't really twist and turn like other street smarter guys!

Does it mean i am more of a worker than a leader? welll...most proabbly...am i able to change that? hopefully... I thought i have changed for the better but...today's test prove that i still have a long way to go...i can't seems to calm myself down during adverse situation. I can't really think on my feet... I am not that kinda guy who is quick at solving problems...i am those who needs to take his/her time to go through every thing and i don't think i can work under stress! Its like i can't perform well in bed when i am under huge pressure.

What kinda pressure? well...for example..you think the girl ain't impress with you...Or you thought she doesn't like doing it with you...or worst of al she thinks you are too small! thats the worst thing a girl could say to a guy! i mean! comeon!! we have huge egos here!! so...its not right for a girl to hurt a guy like that!

Well you might be thinking...a guy could say a girl has small one too...well...i mean...if you think about it...the smaller it is...the tighter it should be so...i don't see it as an insult unless you are talking about the smaller...upper body...well...now thats a pretty sensitve thing to say to a girl...however...nowadays...girls with small assets do have their market value!

I ain't kidding...more and more guys are wanting to go for smaller assets, easy to have control over and probably fetish! But i doubt there will be a market for a guys small tool.... i mean..well lets put it this way...ladies don't really like guys to have more fingers than neccesary. A thumb at a male's lower part of the body is a strictly no no...

Ok...where was I?...well...yah...i was talking about stress and me not being very good at handling them....yes i shoot/breakdown easily when under stress....depending on the situation.

So...i do hope i can't change all this...what i lack is deffinately confidence. So i just need to build up on that level of confidence i should probably be fine! I love the word probably.

Feelings re-irgnited everything JUST when I was about to carry on with my own life

WHY?!!!! just as i thought my life is going to be without you....you pop up again to reignite the fire within me!

Just as i thought i ain't going to think of you anymore...you start to appear and shower me with a glimpse of hope!!....

Now that you have disappear again....i am starting to feel the pinch and suffering from not being able to see you...!!

This is like an addiction from a drug that will neevr lose grab of your life! it angs on to it...not lettting you escape! When you thought you have already gotten over the drug and being able to start a new life...it strike you again.!

Hooking you up like a hooker working around the aleey hooking a horny guy up! You just can't excape her crutches! or whatever that is!

Now with the fire within me being reignited!! what the fusk am i gonna do now? I ain't talking about being horny and all...which most of you will be relating fire with...NO...i am thinking about LOVE!!...yes...the pure love...i ain't just a piece of meat okie!! i have a meat with feelings! i think i will call myself the meat with love! but whatever!

The thing is...i am now thinking of it every single moment!! question like...is she thinking of me keep flashing through my head...did you do anything that will upset me keeps bombarding my sexually intense brain!

I can't take it anymore!! fusk! save me!! i need my life back!! or i need a constant dosage of the drug back! either which....i am fusk for eternalty of howveer you spell it! fusk you all who damn my spelling! its late at night and with my broke and addicted heart there is no way am i going to check the damn dictionary on the exact spelling...

Go on mock at me!! saying i am a stupid piece of meat! but i will always be remembered as the meat with love and feeling embedded within it! Damn...am i gay?

A stupid theory about your girl

Does sleeping naked gives you the chill? who know...never tried that before!!....have i?

Anyway...we guys should always protect our property be it...land...house..car...or the most important..your girl..

You must be thinking why girl...well its simple...all other are kinda too expensive to own...expecially land...come on this is singapore..people...you don't own land..only the government own the land..

So its kinda like animal land...animals guard their own land...territory and fight till death for them...but...they kinda let their mate sleep around and vittu other males...erm...i guess thats why we are much superior being...

We protect one more thing that they don't...our girl!! well..i would love to protect my land too..if i have one..but...since i dont.. iw ill just have to protect my girl..she is my only property...wait...damn...come to think about it i have no girl to protect too..well okie okie...lets talk about general..

So in the animal kingdom..when your own land is being jeapordize..you will fight till death...so as humans...we don't really kill each other...cause you will get jail for that kinda stuff.. so we get mad... well really there is nothing much you can do about it beside getting mad...erm...okie that sucks..

Take my case...i wouldn't be able to do anything if i feel my gf alex is being jeapordize...what do you expect me to do? fly over...gosh thats nearly impossible..

Damn! well...i mean even if she got drunk...i wouldn't be able to save her from all those savage wolfs next to her... And all i could do is get mad! well...thats how usless i am!..well what can i say..i am a singaporean guy...thats who i am.

Anyway have faith in yourself..you will always be able to find someone else...even if your girl left you for another guy. Go find that guys ex -gf and fusk her! get it! for it poeople!!

And i thin sleeping naked does give you the chill..

Alex if you are reading this...i have something to tell you. If you can't come over this winter i might go over if my schedule allows me to travel away..since i might have to attend school...

So so so...say say say....nothing else....fusk off cashley...

girl on train

today i saw this girl on the train twice on 2 different days...then i was thinking...maybe its fate...damn! i should approach and tell her what i think about us...but then...it came to my mind...erm...what if she totally ignore me or said something mean to me...i will be the laughing stock of the train and boy am i going to let myself drown in a train full of misery...no way!!...then as i was having a war within myself on whether to approach her....she left the train...damn damn damn!!
now i will never get a chance to see her again...i mean she gave me 2 chances and i blew it....vittu! i hope she give me another chance...i will not post this on friendster where alex can see it...cause she will think i am being an arsehole and hate me...which is not something i would want to...so i will end my post now...

The vitun Highlights of the NDP

Well well well ...happy birthday singapore....but...erm...why didn't you show case your full power to other nations? i mean come on! i bet you have more weapons than just 5 airplanes and 3 arpache! come on!! NAtional day is a time where you show force!! tell others these is our power!!!

WE must always show off!! but its okie...even if we show off our gadgets...once they saw how our soldiers hold their vitun rifle...they would probably laugh till they die!!

Did you see what they were doing? they were literally hugging their stupid SAR21..., i mean come on people...you guys were like putting both your hands infront of their crotch!! vittu!! thats so bloody gu niang(sissy in singlish. worst your are putting the SAR21 infront of your little brother!! what the vittu!! this is not right! you are suppose to be aggressive...not show how much you love your DICK. oh my god! what a disgrace people...i hope no other people saw that on tv...

Erm...well maybe they are practicing their freekick defending stance...for the 2010 worldcup challenge...well well..now that totaly makes sense to me...cool...smart move by the army...practicing on every opportunity...

I am sure during the 2010 worldcup, our players will have a very tight defense...of their balls....if you know what i mean! No balls will be crush!! the SAF stance!!

So i pressume the SAF new motto would be...till die will our balls be crush! They now instead of oilling their weapons they will oil the magazine too.

Disgrace disgrace! alex i miss you...i am so going to propose to you next summer...wait this is suppose to be a secret...but...nah...i will only propose if you are single and still interested in me!!

My biatch

I use to thought i wil just sleep with any girl...I mean any girl who wanna have have it...i will be there for it...yes yes...i admit i use to be a horny boy...well i am still a boy...but...not as horny as before...as in i won't just sleep with anyone who offers to sleep with me or anyone who wants to do it with anybody.

I realise i ain't that of an animal actually i actually do...choose who i wanna sleep with...I am no animal....i choose my biatch!!

I don't even feel like sleeping with my ex girlfriend now...i mean the ex ex one...cause...not that she isn't good just that...well...erm...i am into someone new...and till that feeling is gone..i think i will still prefer not to sleep with just anyone....out there....its just different...

Anyway i realise i like to use probably lots these days....its probably here and probably there...if you caught me with probably again...please...tell me about it...and i will probably tell you to mind your own vitun business.....i mean just probably...

Imagine seeing LEE at orchard!

yesterday i was talkiong to my J-friend...and both of us kinda agreee that one of our goals in life would to be see singaporean's GRAND-DAD. Mr LEE Kuan YEW...i mean comeon!! he is even more famous than any popstar in the world....in singapore that is...so...not meeting a star is kinda sad..i mean think of it...no one in singapore doesn't know who he is....if anyone doesn't know him...please....send him to army...and torture him till he die...probably a SPY from up there...up where? i dunno...just up there...

SO imagine...walking along orchard and there he was...standing beside you...shopping with this thouands of bodyguard...isn't that cool...what will you do? shake his hand and not wash it for weeks? or ask him for a thumbprint...?

OR when you are watching movie and there he is...sitting right next to you with his thousand bodyguard filling up the entire theatre....damn now you start to wonder how did u manage to get a ticket? erm....

OR when you are eating burgerking/KFC/Long John and there he was queueing behind you and waiting for u to finish ur order....wouldn't it be cool...

But no...it will never happen and i think i will never get to see my idol....not those lamers on tv....but the one who gave me a good life...not my dad...he only gives me money...but the guy...who...yah you know who...

thats for the day...

oh oh...and i kinda figure what to do in finland for a living.....I will open up an academy that teaches people how to use chopsticks. isn't it cool

Think about it.. its going to be a 3 years course diploma, First year you will learn how to use chopsticks to eat different kidna rice...JAP rice, THAI rice, FRIED rice...rice from bowl...then example will be scopping rice from your bowl to the plate then from plate to bowl.2nd year will be more intense...cause first year is for the students to get use to it. Now you have to pick up vegetables with your chopsticks, pork ribs, and all other dishes that might serve in a chinese resturant...this will be rather difficult but...with my elite groups of teachers teaching i doubt it will be a problem.

Then we might teacher a little about making your personal chopsticks in the second year...but it will be touch more indepth in the 3rd year

3rd year being the final year will be the most intense...the students will learn how to eat noodles with chopsticks...niow lots of students flunk during this part of the course...thus lots of hardwork and determination is require from students to make it through.

The final year exam wil be the most difficult of all...students will have to pick up small objects like the green bean using their self-made chopsticks and finish the whole plate within 60 seconds. Its going to be tough..but its an international standards that our school set...so hope we can make it big in finland...wish us luck....

A love story?

Think about this...i was thinking ever since she left...Its all because we didn't put things to an end...and now its hanging by the thread...no one knows whats going to happen...we are just there not knowing what will happen to either one of us in the future.

Should we have put end end to it rather than let it hanging there? None of us had the courage to face it. we both choose to excape and avoid the very situation that will determine our happiness....But it being such an important decision that wil ultimately determine our fate..we decided that none of us could pull ourselves together and face it. We choose to ignore and let it pass by and hopefully situation will be resolved by itselfs...

A year has pass from now...the year is 2007 summer mid July, Jerry and I finally saves enough and make a trip down to finland..the place where all of us promised to meet up at this point of our life. Everyone met with up everyone...things went well, we talked about the happy and fun moments a year ago, all those precious memmories...all went well till...one broke the news of being attached. Since neither of us put an end to the who relationship thing, the other who wasn't attached pressumes they are still together and they are meeting up to reconile their relationship.

Now the whole situation turns cold..althought its summer during the time of the year...tempretures rising to a high of 30 degrees...yet everyone feeling cold...no one dares to say anything... their heart as been frozen..as they were afraid that this will be the end of the friendship and instead of a happy reunion trip it will turn into a sour one..where everyone starts to hate everyone.

After a moment of silent..the one hwo remained single suddenly said sonething...eevryone was anticipating the words that might come out from the mouth..what will it be? thats the only sentence everyone had on their mind...As they wait in anticipation and anxiety...a smile came from the face.... Its ok...were the two words that came out from the much anticipated wait.

A sign of relieve shared between all...everyone was relieve...the friendship at the moment was somehow being savaged by that two words..that seems to mean lots to them at that point in time.

Everything seems back to normal..we were all chatting and sharing the expreience that had happen to each and everyone of us for the past 1 year...while talking and sharing...the couples in the group...kinda realise they still have feelings for each other..and they start having flashbacks of all the moments they had together..

Sparks starts to ignite between the two..feelings starts to rekindle.."should i be doing these?" the one who is currently attach thought. Althought they both felt something...none decided to act as both are afraid that it might end up in embarassment.. The whole situation remains as how it is and not realising the time its already time for bed.

Both of them.. head off to their individual rooms still have the thoughts and feelings deep within them. they tried to create chances so that they might be able to confess how they are feeling...but to no avail..thus...both of them went back to their own rooms.


Well should they be together..its all up to your own imagination...i don't really feel like carrying on with the story..anyway..i left out lots of important parts...that will kinda spice up the whole story like the guy singing love songs to the girl...and the girl starting to feel soemthing for him again and all...but its too much trouble to add it in...besides no one is gonna read it..

Anyway if i were to be the guy i would really love to sing NI BI CHONG QIAN KUAI LE to the girl.

SLots and Lamers

Dear whoever is up there...i am badly sin....today or past few days or maybe fews...okie okie...for the past few years...i have been looking at the slot machine whenever a girl with jeans too big for her...or too low sits down....damn! this is not right...I mean...its always just tempting to observe the mechanism of the slot machine and wonder who its feels or works by putting a coin into it...damn...i am badly sin!!

I shouldn't be doing things like this...sometimes i tried to turn another especially when i am at work...with kate, lynn, mag and lee fong..wearing jeans and when they are sitting down with their rather loose jeans.... well...if you ask me if i look..well i would say i ddin't...i swear...because its not right...but having the thought is kinda bad enough...so i would say i am sin...

Its like how can i do this when i am currently attach to my finnish girlfriend? Alex wouldn't be please if she knows i attempt to look into the slot machine..which girlfriend wouldn't get mad when she found out her bf has been looking at slot machine when he is at work...out for lunch...on his way home and not to mention when he walk past any girl who sits down...i am sin once more!!

Anyway since i am sin...nothing i do will actually redeem me...but still it doesn't mean i am not going to continue expressing curiousity about teh slots behind every girl...

Still i would just like ot comment on it...erm...not all slots are the same...some have bigger slots than others...with bigger slots it simply means...a larger coin is needed...some has the size of a 1 cent coint while some have larger one...but...don't be fool...it doesn't mean the bigger the slot means the more expensive it is....think of it as the 50cent coin is bigger than the dollar. So the bigger the slot doesn't mean the more it cost.

its simple..its like a girl who reveal too much will just turn from a slot to a slut! They just do not have that kinda value to them anymore, well there will probably be demand but its not as much as those who doesn't reveal too much. But by not revealing anything at all like the 1 cent slot...it practically worthless tooo... And the more you reveal the more it excits thus it cost price increase...or the selling price...in this sense..but when it reaches the peak...revealing more kinda render it worthless...and it slowly transit from the 1 dollar coin to 50 cent coin and eventually becomes just ezlink card..or any card...where you just swipe across...don't worry it doesn't cost anything you can swipe as many times as you want...till the police arrive or till some passerby grab you.

Anyway i was thinking maybe the word slut did infact came from the word slot...notice the changing of O to U? notice how the U has a opening at the top? it all make sense now doesn't it.. By revealing too much..the top part of the O kinda open up and become a U this by substituting the U with O you get the word SLUT. thats some history for you people!

Basically thats all i have to say about slot machines...since i am attach i am sorry i can't be providing anymore information about slots since i won't be doing anymore research on it... but its a wonder mechanism and...like al slots it does generate income for the owner of the slots of excitment for the user of the slot...so...to all guys feel free to drop your pants....i mean coins into the slots and hope you will win something other than a slap or invittation for coffee break with the blue people(cops)..

moido!

Oh wait before i go..today when i was on the...i met this 3 super lame teenagers! damn! i thought no one can be lamer than me...but god damn it...(sorry god..i don't mean you..its just an expression)..they are million times lamer than me! they were laughing at jokes like...why did the elephant die, because it laugh till it died, and then they keep asking why the elephant died and coming out diff non-sensical anwers to it which is not even funny!

I mean come on...you can do better than that!..what the vittu! i almost had to made them pay me back my transport fee for being in the same train as them! vittu! they are totally hopeless...one of them is a girl by the way...so..i am not only targeting them because they are males...losers but just because they are loswe regardless of the sex! Damn! i still can't forget how one of them laugh...its like...even thou its not funny..but he is trying to force a laugh out of the not the least funny joke!

Why why why!! did our school made kids into how they are today? this is totally ricidulous...i mean...not being funny is okie...its normal...but not funny and your jokes and laughter makes other wanna punch you in the face and asking you to shut the god damn up (sorry again...don't banish me to hell) is too much! i hope someone can do something about those kids...maybe the parents should just disown them!

Oh to all those nice guy out there...who think i could just ignore them...and it wouldn't kill me to eavesdrop...well i am not evasdropping...but their jokes are so loud that i don't really have a chioce not to listen to it..and they give me no chioce since they are like standing right behind me...and why should i even anwser to you? damn! banish those kids, exile them...don't let them take the same train as me ever again!

have a nice day people...moido

Being seduce is one of the best thing that can happen to a guy

Well well...wouldn't it be cool if some girl...tries to seduce you? i was thinking of it...when i was working....it will be what i call awesome!

Think of it...a girl...purposely...pulling up her skirt so you will notice her...and purposely lean closeer to you during movies so...welll you could kiss her? stuff like that...or...press her tigh against yours....damn...it...i wish some girl will seduce me....

Erm...let me rephrase that statement.... i wish some pretty girl...would seduce me! Saw these gorgeous lady at raffles place whiole heading for lunch today..damn...it no words can describe her figure...its god send...(not to me) but...damn...i wish she would just seduce me...of course...given my...limited qualities probably i would be right at the bottom of the pecking order when it comes to who she is going to seduce...

Anyway...main thing is...i think all guys will love it...when their gf..or soon to be gf...seduce them...trying to catch their attention... i would be god damn happy...if that happens to me....oh yeah...

or...when the girl is wearin spagetti strips...and she slides one of the strap off her shoulders...damn...thats too much...even for me to handle...erm...actually...i think the lifting up her skirt slight during movies one is kinda one of the most evil thing a girl could do to a guy...well...alex did that to me once...but i didn't really notice...cause i am too engross in watching the god damn movie! well..at least the movie wasn't that bad...

SO yah... there goes my chance of having a girl seducing me during movies...and if i ain't wrong...sharon did try to seduce me before when we are already together that is....and...well...it worked out pretty well...

Oh to all couples out there do enjoy your honey moon period before...erm...you know...bad things happen...i wouldn't want to curse anyone...so...goodluck...

monster face

My face is going from worst to hideous...cool... i will soon become so ugly that...i will kill myself the moment i look into the mirror....nothing seems to work...on my face...damn! what can i say? nothing....just...i am hideous....if there is a doctor who could help me i will gladly appreciate!

The best part...my mum doesn't even care about it! she doesn't even bother....its okie...thats my family...no one cares about each other...they will only probably cry after i die...so...thats all...i am going to bed.