Unforgettable

I am really confuse now. She wanted to ditch her bf for me now. But only now?? After so much pain? And I really can't get over the fact that she actually went all the way with him. She got WET for him. I really can't get over that. It means she was comfortable and she wanted him to touch her..

I swear I knew she moan when he touches her and finger her. The scenario keep flashing in my head over and over again. They kissed, he Carress her, she moan, he got high, he slide his hand into her shorts and start to stroke her pussy, she got wet, he slides his finger into her wet pussy, she moans and reaches out for his erected dick.

She stroke his dick and touch the tip of his dick with her fingers. Massage the head and spreading his pre cum all over the dick head. She then lick her finger and taste his pre cum. Then she proceed to pull down his fore skin and then caress his balls.

By then he is already fingering her aggressively with his middle finger moving in and out and twirling inside her. She is moaning with estacy and at the same time stroking his dick faster and faster.

Since she was moaning he didn't have any intention of stopping and she continues to masturbate him. Finally he cums and she spread his cum all over his dick head and gives him a few more strokes.

They French kiss again with their tongues twirling inside each other's mouth and then she assist him o wipe his cum and they dress each other up.

That's the scenario that continue replaying in my head. And I really can't forgive she got wet for him and he fingers her.. Sorry...

Things willl never be the same anymore

She said it! She said she would make her relationship fail and eventually break up with her bf.....and i was like right......

First of all...she said she is not getting closer with her bf anymore because she would make this relationship fail...so if she didnt want it to make it fail she will go all the way right?..duh...She said she will find a way to break up with him....i mean come on....just because at a fit of anger you want to end it because of me..and then you decide you won't get any closer to him. The thought of her wanting to get much closer is enough to get me uncomfortable.

She claims she is protecting our relationship...What does she means? She means that when he found out about us...she would have to leave me? So whos more important now? Him or me? Of course she meant him...if not why would she need to protect our relationship? By being wary about going out with me...by having to treat him nice and by having to please him so he won't suspect anything.

Please woman...what you said really is kinda contradicting...on one side you said i am important, on the other side you said you wanted to protect our relationship because of he were to find out then it would be the end of us..boo hoo..

This guy is now so important to her that she can't bear to leave him and she has to please him, make him feel love, feel wanted, satisfied him sexually and all so that she could go out with me... So i am suppose to feel love because of that? Really? I must be living in an alternate world here cause i totally is unable to understand how does that translate into I LOVE YOU!

Secondly, She needs time to break up with him....why break up when you afraid of losing him in the first place? Why do you need the time? I do understand that she didnt what the whole friendship to be ruin too....but really why bother why you really was trying to protect OUR relationship by treating him like her husband?

I told her dont bother anyway...whether she will do it or not i wont know...but it will never be the same ever again...even if she did broke up...

I already knew she got wet for him and i already knew she masturbated him and i already knew she moan for him and i already knew she did almost everything with him....

Things will never be the same anymore..

Gaining and losing

I finally did it! I said it all out....i couldnt hold it inside me anymore...I had to blurt everything out...I really cant hold it inside me anymore...

I feel terrible holding it inside me...

She told me she wont get closer with him anymore....so Am i suppose to tell her i believe her or should i tell her how am i suppose to believe her now?

I mean even the dumbest person will say that to get out of trouble....Would she be so dumb to tell me but its normal that we will only get closer as the relationship continues?

She ask me what i want of her....can i say i want her to break up? Would she have done it? what nonsense....although i feel much better blurting everything out...now she wont tell me anything anymore...

Well i guess i gain something and i lose something...

Unbelievable

How can she really treat it as nothing has happen? I am really puzzled by it...

I mean really? After saying all those stuff and she can still go back to her bf and be happy with him? Give him all the sexual needs he wants?

Fuck me...just fuck me

Whole loads of Bull Crap

Full load of bullcrap again!!!! She said she felt heartpain that she knows i am suffering but yet still pretend that nothing is happening...YES i am suffering and i am feeling whole lots of pain...but what she gonna do about it?

She is still going to be attached...she is still going to continue pleasing his bf..she is still continuing getting closer and more intimate with the bf...what would she do?

Whole loads of bull crap....what she takes me for? An idiot? Someone who would just be smitten all over again and not feel anything?

Someone who would just apologize and try harder and treat it as nothing has happen and be happy that she will only continue get closer and more intimate with the bf and eventually having sex? I am suppose to be happy when i know their relationship is getting strong?

In mere a week or so...they gone from light to heavy petting...from touching of the outer layer of the pussy to fingering and from not touching his dick to stroking it and masturbating him....

And she wants me to just continue loving her and not leave her....sure i will promise that...i will continue seeing she and her bf get better by the day...Why wouldnt i want that? Its rather enjoyable...isnt it?

She is such a fucking hypocrite!! Getting emotional and upset and heart pain because she knows that i am in pain. And what the fuck is she going to do about it? Nothing...She is still going to be with her bf...she is still going to go further with her bf...she is still going to plan for more activities with her bf...man...i fucking hate her now...

What the Fuck does she wants of me! what the fuck!!!

Why i am suffering like this? Why do i have to fall in love...why do i have to stick to someone to dont enjoy being with but pretend i am just because someone else would feel guilty over it.

Just take my life...dont let me suffer anymore...

Let me be numb....let me have no feelings...

Sex dates

Didn't thought of it last night but only this morning. She asked about my dec trip again and confirming the dates with me. When I ask why she said oh she just wanted to remind me to text her when I reach even I haven't got data. Loads of crap!!!

She just wanted to confirm the dates I will be away so she can have uninterrupted sex with her bf!!

I feel more and more like I am being played. It's not long that they will starting to have sex soon!!! Argh!!! And she is probably planning for it already!!

Fuck it!! I wanted to confront her this morning but what's the point she will probably just lie and deny it.

I feel I really need to move on.. I had enough of being played with... What can I do? Argh... I hate this feeling...

I hate love

She says I am different already. She wants me to be happy when she is having fun with her bf? She gets wet with her bf and masturbate him, moan when he fingers her and she wants me to treat it as nothing has happen and continue treat her lovey dovely?

Come on!!! What does she treats me as? She is a woman I love! I am suffering because she wants me to stay and because she don't want to get guilty.

Now she is having physical relationship with someone else other than me and I should not think about it as long as She loves me? So I should just look beyond all those and just think she loves me?

I really wish I can do that however, The picture of how they get naked and how they touch each other and how they pleasure each other and enjoying pissed me off. I can not be the same person ever again.

I am ruined. I hate myself. I wanna die

I just found out that they went on from light petting to heavy petting. He now fingers her and make her wet while she masturbate him and even makes him cum..

I know I had already expect for the worst.. But when I know about this news I felt terrible. I don't know how do I love someone so much and not be bothered by the fact that she has doing it with another guy.

She masturbate him!!! And he even cum. Then she probably played with his cum too!! And he probably seen her naked and touch her whole body.

He fingered her, meaning she was very wet for him. She wasn't even wet for me anymore yet she was wet for him.

I feel lost... I really want to just stop loving anymore.. I really want to stop... But I can't I just can't.. I love her too much...

Sorry????

I really ain't a dumbass! I knew she did it with her bf but she is trying to treat it as nothing happen last night with her bf.

How can she treat it as nothing had happen and still wanna go out with me and get intimate with me? How is it that she is still able to kiss me when she was having a great time with her bf making out and kissing and sexing and all?

I really feel like I am so used.. I can't accept that she is alright with it. I am struggling here and all she can tell me is sorry.

What's the point of saying sorry??? Argh!!!

selfless

She didn't want me to suffer. She wanted me to be well and care for me but yet she is not willing to undertake the pressure if I be with her...

I have no idea what is she talking about.. She wants what's the best for me yet she not willing to be with me. And she made me stay with someone whom I probably have no feelings with anymore.

And she tells me to think of what's best for her. So who's being selfish here? I really don't know. Hse is getting the best of both worlds while I am stuck in an endless cycle of suffering. And I still have to pretend to be happy when I am with her.

One fine day I will just break down and call it quits. Quits to life itself.

I hate love. It hurts.

Sanity

Whenever I see pics of guys caressing a woman boobs, I think of how her bf would be doing that when they are petting...

I guess now they must be having fun already. And me? I am stuck home clearing bowels..

Don't get me wrong, this ain't about fairness. It's just happens that they are having FUN while I am suffering.

I seriously ain't sure how long can I last being sane. Or how long more can I continue talking to nobody and just listing down my thoughts... Just how long more!!!

Dinner and sex

Well I guess as much, they went home for dinner indeed. Where else right? Home would be the best place to cuddle and relax together.

She plan to meet me tomorrow so I guess tonight she will have to please him and make him a happy man so tomorrow he won't bother her.

So he picked her up from work, go buy groceries for dinner. Go home, prepare for dinner and wait for mum to come home. In the mean time shower and then cuddle till mum comes home.

Hug in each other's arms probably kissing and pressing against each other's body.

After dinner rest and what else but to go back to the room close the door and then laid down o the bed together and yes.. Cuddle.

But maybe before that it would be more frenching and hugging, letting the hands do the talking while the lips interlock with the tongue intertwine with each other. Then slowly he would grab the butt and Carress the boobs and going underneath the spaghetti strap and fondling with the nipples and pinching it slightly.

The other hand would slip into her shorts and stroke her shaved pussy and Inbetween the pussy lips making her wet. At this point in time she has already let off a slight moan when he pinch and stroke her pussy. That soft moan turns him on so much that he continues and push her to the bed. Now his already erected dick on laying on top of her wet pussy.

Being as impatience as he is, he pull the shorts and the panty down while he pull down his own pants too. She stroke his swollen dick while guiding him into her pussy.

Not sure if it's the first time they had sex but it's unprotected sex.

Anyway he is probably wearing my shorts and t-shirt now. But there is nothing I can do about it but to write it all here so I won't bother her with all my nonsense.

Evolution of a relationship

We just kissed and I was hugging her from the front and my erected dick was leaning against her pussy. Immediately after kissing i realise, she did mention that her bf did the same thing with her too and thats how she is able to feel the size of her dick.

She said he wasn't that big but i think its just an estimate. But i do believe his dick was pressing against her pussy like mine which sort of made me uncomfortable.

I mean given that she is able to sense the size of his dick from the pussy it must be pressing aginst her rather tightly...i tried just now and my dick could her pussy spreading apart as I push against it.

Don't think she got wet while i did that but maybe she did that with her bf.

Well yesterday she told me she is still considering whether to meet her bf today or not and she might not meet him. But deep down i knew she will definately meet him but unlike before i didnt say it out..i just kept quiet because it doesnt make any difference anymore.

And i am right during lunch she told me that she is meeting him for dinner tonight...and i was like ok.. duh...what else can i say? But as mention it doesnt matter..

However I am starting to believe what i suspect is right as in she is giving up what she like doing for her bf...but its still too early to say...I shall continue to monitor.

I still feels uncomfortable sometimes when we kissed because i realise she might be doing all these with her bf too...but i am getting better at ignoring it and moving on and i wont even have the urge to tell her too. Which i guess is good.

Oh and not sure if its me or not but i do feel she is starting to treat me nicer too.. so i am guessing maybe because she knows if she doesnt i will keep being insecure and then upset...thus she decided to treat me like how she willl treat her bf...which is nice and keeping him happy.

So now she is trying to keep me happy....ohhh....i should be happy....i pressume....

I am starting to feel that this relationship is becoming sexual and slowly nothing more than that....we shall see...

Daily post of a married man loving a married woman

Last night when she mention that He has something on this coming sat night, i suggested that we can meet up. But immediately she asked wouldnt it be weird that when he goes out she goes out too?

I mean seriously? now its like she belongs entire to him already? When he is out on a sat which is suppose to be their day she cant go out because she has to stay home and wait for him?

Upon hearing it i was kinda depress, because when we are together she will never say things like that. She will always plan for events when i am unable to meet her. So why is it now that she thinks its not very nice that when HE is not free for her it will be better that she stay home? And it wouldnt be nice that IF HE goes out she cant go out because SAT is their DAY?

Oh man... i feel so unjust...but regardless Love is indeed nothing but pain.

I feel so pain but i dont know what to do..but recently i have been feeling much better because i think i start to care less and not think so much. It really is much easier if i think she is married and we are just having an affair and its just a HAPPY relationship.

Making him happy

Suddenly today she is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and allocate more time for me. Which is great but feels weird that she is doing that. At the end of the day I still only get two days per week and that's the same as before she sacrifice her stuff. That's weird I only realize it now.

This afternoon I was still thinking wow she is sacrifice a whole lot for me. But now I am thinking hey after all the sacrifice is still just two days a week!

But oh well maybe it's only for this week that I am getting two days, let's see how it is next week and the weeks ahead. Maybe I would get more time instead. Thou unlikely. Most prob I will still get two days and her bf get the remaining.

The reason I though of that its when she suddenly asked if I ever wonder why would she be able to stay out late everytime.. Then immediately after asking me that I could sense that she regret that it question. When I replied that it's because she makes him happy. She discreetly acknowledge.

Well she might be thinking that I might pounce her with question like how do you make him happy? Do you give him things he asked for? Like getting physical? Blowjobs? Or hugging and heavy petting? I mean it's pretty normal guys would ask for stuff like that. And what else could make the git happy? Text him and report to him her whereabouts? Send him pics everyday ? Maybe... But I sense it takes more than just that to pacify and secure a guy and make him happy. So happy so that he won't bothered what she is doing. And we ain't even talking that the guy has grown tired of her. I mean they just gotten together and I am pretty sure that he is really into her. This they only possible reason would be that she made him really very happy that he feels so very secure.

And I am thinking he complains about the lack of time too so she is sacrificing her own time for him too. Maybe I would get more but I am sure he will too. If not doubt he will be happy and allow her to stay out late.

I might be skeptical but I feel that things are as it seems so far. Only time will tell.

Love, Truth, Happiness, Forever

Its not about not telling things but sometimes, by saying things out it will only upset both parties. Then why bother? I mean after telling the truth the other party gets upset and thinks we are all not moving forward and I aint understanding enough and all.

Sometimes its not about not being understanding but its about the other person not being able to put him or herself in the shoes of the partner. We will never be able to fully grasp what other person is feeling because we simply aint them.

So rather than having two person getting upset over somethings..Its best that it will be kept within onself and suffer alone.

This case at least we have 1 happy person and just 1 sad person. Its just a myth that two person can be happy forever. These two words are simply overrated. Happiness only last a few moments and then pragmatism strikes and then reality takes over, which most likely follow by saddness.

Happiness doesnt last a lifetime...saddness does. Yah its a choice...its a choice that i chose to suffer alone.

Well you might say whats the point of being in a relationship if you cant even share moment of unhappiness with your partner? Well then let me ask, whats the point of being in a relationship if you cant make that other person happy and end up hurting him or her over and over again?

So if you would still wanna keep the relationship for various reasons then suffering in silence would be your best way out.

Like i say nothing is perfect. Nothing can be share openly and truthfully. Nations are built on trust or sharing of love. Nations and companies are built on deceit and secrets. Relationship is the same.

Love is simply a feeling one seek comfort into when times are really bad. And its like a drug, after the effects wear off, suffering comes back and you just need to seek stronger dosage of love to make yourself feel better. Till the day you turn numb and its also time to end everything...

Mentality of a Man who can't get over his ex

I love her so much yet I can't be with her and she insist on being with another guy whom she thinks can give her a complete family.

I keep thinking what stage are they at right now, have they done it. If they have, then what stage are they at? Do they do crazy stuff too? Is he frenching her and putting his hands underneath her top and grabbing her boobs? Is he going underneath her skirt making her wet and horny? Is she grabbing her dick too?

I keep having all these scenarios in my head that i can't seems to get it out. I cant move on, love hurts so badly.

I wish i was never in love, but I felt so happy when I know she love me too. This is so confusing.

I am no longer her priority, I am now just a backup when she doesn't have to accompany her bf then she will spend time with me. On special occasion she would want to spend time with her bf and not me. Why has everything changed? Why does it have to change? Why does this hurt so much? Why can't i just move on and without feeling all these pain?

I just found out that, they had french a few days back and they done light petting..meaning no fingering but just stroking of the vagina and grabbing of the boobss...but i aint sure if it includes fondling of the nipples or maybe pinching it? Well she did said that she told him she aint comfortable with him touching her private part but i guess the boobs and nipples still continues..

And i wonder if she moans when he touches her? If she does it means she is enjoying it too right?

Today is their 1 month anniversary and he is going to cook dinner for her. Which means she would be going to his place. And lying on his bed and boy oh boy do we see whats going to happen next..

Think they might just be doing it for the first time tonight too. I mean it will eventually happen right? Who am i to stop them? She did mention that she will be going over to his place more often than before now.

She is wearing a really cute dress today and i am guessing that HE likes her to be sweet thats why she is dressing up for him. She is always sexy for me..but i guess things have to change it have to change.

Why should i care right? As long she still is sexy for me....but i think she also look good wearing cute dress and looking sweet...Ohhh i still love her soo much

Why do i allow someone to carress her boobs, nipples, stroke her pussy and probably finger her too...And If she enjoys it too....argh....I can think about it anymore...I got to stop for me...