My First bloody interview with BLOOMBERG

Well well my first interview...with bloomberg...it all perfect...perfectly opposite from what i have expected or planned..

First of all lets talk about my experience when i first enter the office...

The elevator was pretty cool...but still ain't that impressive...they require you to scan your card before you can press on the floor you are going to...12F for me....

The entire floor belongs to bloomberg...as i enter...the 2 receptionist...ok...i only approach the prettier one...she is god damn gorgeous...plus...her accent is mesmerizing...oh gosh...i could have seriously marry her on the spot...she is that pretty....

Well after meeting up with the receptionist i am required to look at the surveillance camera and smile...its really cool...cause the camera moves and took picture of you....then the pretty lady kinda printed out a tag...where you have to wear around the office....

The rest of the office was pretty much a open concept except for the receptionist dressing....then there is a fish tank...which i didn't notice till i was leaving the office...oh and guess what they have their own security guard inside the office...can you believe that? i mean whats that for?

Oh well everywhere you go you see computers and computers and computers with a minimum of 3 LCD screen per desk....isn't it so cool....damn...reminds me of those movies...

erm...ok lets jump straight to the interview....

nothing much except for the fact that WE have to do a self presentation INDIVIDUALLY on stage infront of the rest of the world....what the hell!!!

I was literally shaking when we had to do thaT..well she did asked for volunteers...but duh obviously i wouldn't be dumb enough to be the first one to stand up and kamikaze myself.

Well the first lady who went up...looks pretty professional...but talks lots of bullocks...in my opinion...ya ya we know bloomberg is the leading financial news agency....or whatever...its all in the website...and by trying to link what herself with bloomberg kinda made it fake....too fake...

first of all...its a customer service job....yes you need interest in financial markets....but...actually most of them made a common mistake when they say they want to know what causes the market to move...interest rates and currency...so on and so forth....actually you can't learn from having interest in finance...thats like macroeconomics...or monetary economics...if they are highly interested,..than take up a course from a university and then study economics as a mjor, i am sure you will definitely satisfy you hunger for knowledge...

Thats why....if you ain't sure what you are saying...don't bother trying to link your so called interest with the company....if i can see that they are trying very hard...i am sure the HR personnel can see that they are trying very hard too..

Actually the first lady took up quite long...and since she is the first one...it ain't really tiring or boring...but as the number of other candidate went up...man oh man..it gets increasingly boring...and having to look up at them becomes a torture....thus i begin to look at their feet instead...but i aint rude enough to doze off...

lots of people from engineering background....who claims they developed an interest in finance thus they want to enter bloomberg to find out more about how the whole thing works....well like i mention above...thats bullshit...

But whats really funny was this NUS or SMU guy....who study economics...actually went up and said...he actually wants to be a business or securities analyst...and this job is just a stepping stone for him.....and he also intend to get his masters soon...wow....haven't got in and already talking about leaving...interesting...

There is also another girl from brunei...who possess a first class honors in Info Tech saying she never settle for mediocre jobs....and only the best...thats why she choose bloomberg...well she was one of the few more impressive ones...

Ok as for me..i totally screwed it up...well...although i thought i ain't that nervous anymore...but...man oh man...its a tough crowd out there...i could perform up to 30% of my potential...my face were totally stiff...hands having no idea where to put...internal organs failing...breathing starts to accelerate without an sign of slowing...and my throat seems to be narrowing....well...finally the first word came out...and immediately i knew....oh god can i go home now!!!!

to sum up...heres what i said about myself!

Hi, my name is andy. I am a fresh grad without working experience, thus technically i am a nobody thus i don't mind starting as a nobody in bloomberg. I am a really boring guy, always staying at home doing nothing but surfing the web. Except for the fact I do capoeira.

On why i choose bloomberg, first of all i am not sure if you guys checked it out...but the rewards and benefits are extremely attractive...and its bloomberg...everyone wants to join bloomberg..

On why should bloomberg choose me...because i am extremely confortable behind the desk and computer and chatting on msn...with the clients...why not...its fun...

The end....well its really not what i said...its more of how i said it...and guess what...due to multiple organs failure...it didn't went as plan...immediately i stepped down i totally felt like leaving the place...straight away...tough crowd out there i would say....

So by monday i will probably recieve an email telling me Thank You for your application, after reviewing, we decided that there are better candidates who are more suitable for this job. We regret to inform you of the bad news. Wish you best of luck for your future.

So i will post the email here if you guys are interested....ciao

The world isn't fair!

Life isn't fair they say...what you give doesn't equal to what you receive in return....well i do not disagree...but that also doesn't give you a reason to be phuck up! (its a family blog, there are people younger than me reading it).

The truth is...if you don't wish to receive shit than you have no reason to give shit. The thing is...due to the world being unfair...if you give others shit....they will then give you shit in return...but if you don't give shit....it doesn't mean you will not receive shit...but it does gives you a right to bitch about it like what i am doing now!

Sounds complex? let me simplify it....giving shit + receiving shit = don't phucking bitch!

Did not give shit + receive shit = right to bitch all you want bitch!

Give shit + did not receive shit = GO on and spread your shit around the world and wait for your deserve shit!

Still don't understand what the shit i am saying? easy...its like...if you don't want to have sex dun expose yourself unnecessary. If you did not expose and still get sex...thats call rape and you can bitch or call the cops all you want! If you expose and still did not get sex...you are just one phucking ugly person!

now is it easier to understand now? i hope it is....so...bottomline... don't fucking show me your fucking attitude just because i am a fucking nice guy...( notice the use of the original text...this shows the degree of my fucking anger)....

Overall i am still a nice guy....peace to all you people....and death awaits those who deserve! peace to the world!

Riddle of the Day

Riddle of the day....whats the difference between your magical wand and a hot dog?

Both becomes larger thicker when being heated up....well...magical wand heated up by a hot girl...well hot dog get heated up by a toaster... And both becomes smaller and wrinkled when cool down....

Ironically true isn't it...thats why people have been calling the magical wand as hotdog...since both can also be eaten....well...the wand not literally but more or less...you know...into the mouth and down the throat....

Just that girls pls dun bite the wand..

Anyway...with the resemblance...does it mean...girls is equal to a toaster? erm...that i ain't sure but theoretically it means that...

Daily routine while overseas

I decide to touch on my daily life while overseas....since i have nothing better to do anyway..

I will begin with my daily routine and since everyday would be more or less the same i will then only touch on one day times the number of days i am there would be my total daily routine.

7am yes you didn't see wrongly i am already the latest to wake up in the household.

7.10am well even though i am the latest to wake up..its still consider extremely early as compared to my usual Singapore routine. Thus even after awaken I would roll around the bed for a few mins and then first destination would be the toilet. The peeing toilet that is.

7.15am It takes time to pee....no there isn't any problem with my weenie..

7.16am - 11am Hammock time...well probably with a cup of ice coffee and yah I slack around the house on different hammocks to allow time to flow...

11am to 12pm should be the time for the first meal of the day, so yah...most probably rice with prawns and fish and sometimes pork ribs.

12pm onwards would be gaming time with my laptop..and of course more hammock time....oh not forgetting nap time.

4pm should be drinking time...well i call it the afternoon drinking...its vodka with tropical fruits, or prawns with salad.

6pm should be the second and probably the last meal of the day...again it will be rice with prawns, fish, crab or sometimes pork ribs.

7pm should be time for TV...and since it ALL in other language...well...it doesn't really matter if i watch or don't watch tv...

8pm should be fruits time....

9pm should be bed time...

9.30pm should be can't get to sleep time

10pm should be still trying to sleep time

10.30 should be struggling to get some sleep time

11pm should be time to forget about sleeping and go pee in the dark time

11.08pm should be finished peeing and back to the bed trying to sleep time

11.30pm should be finally get to bed time..

12am....should be snoring time..

3am..should be time to wake up and pee in the dark again..

well there is the end of the day...

Whole lots of crap...nothing else

Ever come across a pretty girl and can't help but to turn your head more than once...or keep staring at the same again...for more than you look at your gf or wife? Well it happen to me lots of time...in fact to prevent myself from forgetting her looks...I used a technique call the mental snapshot.

Its like taking a picture...but not with a camera or your handphone...but with your eyes as the lens and your brain as the memory card. Well there are lots of benefits from mastering this technique..

First of all...your gf if happen to be beside you won't get jealous and starts quarreling...(which can be a pain in the arse)

Second..the girl you stare at won't be awkward or have a bad impression of you...(which can be rather important...i mean you never know when you might be able to change gf/wife)

Third...which i think is rather important too...that is...in your mind you can do whatever fantastic activity with the girl...you can even replay the activity every night before you sleep...during showers...while being intimate with your GF/wife or while shitting...

With all these marvelous reason...every guy should really master this technique...

P.S. This is probably one of the reason why I don't think i can settle down....by the way I did realize something....

Sometimes when you see a pretty girl with devil like figure...it doesn't mean by sleeping with her...you will definitely enjoy the process...in fact...if she happens to be like a dead squid...you would be better off masturbating while looking at nude pics of your maid.

What I am trying to say is...sometimes we guys look at a pretty girl...with drop dead figure...it doesn't mean we would be happier if we bed her...sex will always just be sex....if you ain't doing it with someone you LOVE...

sex is just an action....while its the end result that counts...nah...just kidding...i mean the next level to sex would be....ejaculate....kidding again...the next level would actually be love making...

Well there is a difference...ones doing with someone you throughly love the other is just an activity (can be a good stress reliever or heart pumper).

By constantly changing the activity partner...you will eventually get tired of the activity itself...but if you constantly only do it with just one person...you will only get tired of that person....UNLESS its someone you love deeply...then the problem would be solve...

The morale of the story is...do not have multi sex partners...cause eventually sex will be of no enjoyment to you....second...only change partner when you get sick and tired of your previous partner....third...try to only do it with someone you love deeply....

You must be thinking by doing with only one person..wouldn't it be boring...absolutely...not...because its gonna be someone you love deeply...and to be honest...if you want god like sex...find a prostitute...these people are the professionals... they provide the ultimate services...

What i am trying to say is....yes sex is important in a relationship..but it ain't the key aspect...its not right to say...oh my gf ain't giving me good sex thus i need to find another gf....GF ain't for bedding...they are there for you to love them...treasure them...adore them....and dote on them...

Like i say and i will say it again...to have great sex...find a prostitute...they are the professionals afterall..

So....to sum up...why get into a relationship..when i see...most guys just wanna have sex? gf ain't free...you have got to pay for her food...and probably gifts...or drinks in a club....if you are just looking for sex....go to a brothel....

The END

Women Drivers - The Core economic Drivers

I would like to take this opportunity to hail all the women drivers out there!! You all are the key economic drivers of these economy. You not only reduce unemployment in this countries but also increase spending in the economy.

Why is this so you must be thinking...well its pretty obvious....by having accidents....you provide jobs for mechanic, doctors, nurse, ambulance drivers, insurance agents, lawyers and many many more.

now now i am not saying all women driver sucks....no no...i dun mean that...its just that most of the really bad drivers i met happen to be females.. maybe its just coincidence who knows

However we thus cannot deny the fact that they creates jobs and is a major economic driver and with more and more women driver's out there i would safely predict that...singapore will not be entering into reccession like what most economist forecast.

Oh and finally a quote from somewhere " Chicken, Prawns, Crab and Women are things where there will be greater satisfaction from using hands"

The similarities of a prostitute and a job hunter

I just realize the similarities of a whore and a fresh Grad looking for jobs. I feel like a whore right now...

I am constantly selling myself to companies in my cover letter by customizing each cover i send out...man oh man its a toll on my mind and fingers. I not only have to think of what to right but i even crack my brain to determine whats the linked between the responsibilities required and what i am capable of...which i would say is mostly crap..

Instead of flaunting my assets visually i am flaunting my assets through words and cheeky essays. well I just hope at least 1 of the companies would engage my services....i so promise i will provide a good and satisfying services and make sure they keep coming back for more....see i am so selling myself...

But i am not degrading whores....in fact i think they are rather capable...i mean after engaging in the sales trade currently i do realize selling oneself is really not an easy task especially when there are tons of other who are like you selling themselves to the same potential clients too.

Example...the only differences between myself and other grads possessing the same degree or similar degree would be the grades and probably the level of skills which more or less are homogeneous. These are like every whore/prostitutes have the same boobs and figure the only differences is probably the size and shape of it...

The higher the grade of the boobs or educations well the more sort after you are. The better your skill in providing the necessary service the higher chances of the customer engaging your service.

And like a prostitute the customer has no way of knowing how good your services are..thus you have to sell yourself...like a fresh grad.

SEE the similarities so you people better not look down on services providers because you too are selling yourself in one way or the other.

In economics term i would consider myself in a perfect competitive market. Almost everyone possess the same banking and finance degree and there is little or no differentiation in these degree. In fact its hard for employees (a.k.a customers/clients) to determine your worth. The only way to signal would be to dress up your cover letter or resume like how a prostitute dress up herself/himself attractively to seduce clients.

We therefore have to master the art of seduction before we can find the right job that would satisfy our desire!

Journey to the WEST

Back from a trip to the rural region..well i would call it the Venice of Vietnam. Why? well...erm...besides the fact that you have to travel around in a boat...i don't see any other resemblance but well it kinda made it sound more high class..

Anyway I can't possibly share the entire 2 weeks in a single post..its possible but would be too summarize so i decided to break it down.

Today's post...well its about a journey to the toilet. Title journey to the WEST.

Actually i don't really know what to say...in fact i have nothing much to say...which i thought i did but now that i actually have to type it out...it seems nothing much.

I kinda got this journey to the west idea while i was shitting...or attempting to shit..thought it will be a great post but now come to think about it...its nothing much...

Its titled journey to the west because its situated at the west side of the house and i would say its a rather treacherous journey except for the fact that you travel alone and your aim ain't to collect any script but to release, reject or recycle. I would call it a gift back to nature!

Lets start describing the journey, first you start off with walk across the dry mud...then up a wooden platform follow by a across a valley up which then follows by 2 pathway...one which is a potential landslide area the other up a hill and walk along the ridge... both equally treacherous..

After which you will have to cross another valley then follow by the same 2 options then you will eventually reach the grassland after a while you will have to cross a cliff...and up a hill and then WA LA you reached the HOLY LAND! oh not forgetting having to battle or escape evil creatures on your way to the holy ground.

The Holy ground is kinda cool in a way that the scenery's fantastic and you get surround sound while shitting (A.K.A feed the crabs) and even some tall grass to play with.

You must be wondering why surround sound? well...easy...imagine houseflies flying around you...i am saying..you get the same effect as watching a movie with airplanes flying from one end of the screen to the other.

PLUS with motor boats moving up and down the stream behind you...come on! I would call it a first class entertainment system. in fact its live!

Oh its also feeding of mosquito time when you are at the holy ground at night or the immerse heat of the sun in the day!

So regardless of day or night...you will have to battle some external effects..personally i would rather battle the heat...i will take it as sun tanning which giving back to nature. mosquito to me is a killer...

BUT there is a ideal solution to all of these...it happen so that the best timing to visit the holy ground would be after 12 around 3pm. reason? First of all its high tide! second mosquito are all sleeping third! due to the sun being at the west side now...there happen to be a tree just beside the holy ground which blocks out the sun!

At 3pm...you get instant flushing from the river, nice scenery free of pesky mosquito and shelter from the tree! however sometimes we humans can't control the timing of the visit to holy ground since...well..its holy and its all up to GOD!

The worst time of the day to visit the ground would be at night...besides the waves of mosquito circling your ass and dick or puss..depending which you prefer...you have to travel in the dark which i would say...can be extremely adventurous. For those night seekers you may consider the dark...but i must warn you...shitting in the dark would most probably not only cause your dick to shrink by also the tightening of your asshole!

Well well...i think i cover most of the areas of the journey...and now i will present to you a video of it...




Oh and the video includes a journey back.....enjoy