Mission accomplished

Well my plan work to perfection...i went there...appraoch the guard...told him my plan and wah laaa!!! its that easy...not so difficult afterall...

its actually before the implementation of my plan that i felt nervous with all kinds of situation flashing before my very eyes...

i mean what if when i was just about to leave it with the guard and she suddenly came down!! oh my god...that will be the most embarrassing moment of my livE!! its like what the hell would i do? run? that will make me feel like a wimp!!

Anyway its all fine now since everything went smoothly...i left it...message her and then walk away...i think its better that we not meet each other...let each other develope in their own destiny and well who knows maybe someday...when we are all comfortable with our life...i might actually have the guts to see her..

Oh...by the way she replied with...you went off already? and i replied with a ya when i am just about to leave the building...after that she asked if i was too shy to meet her...and i replied with..kinda...then she replied with oh okie thanks hugs...and that simply sum up the conversation for the day for me....

after that i didn't talk to anyone else...and don't feel like talking to anyone else...

tomorrow is just another day where i really have to study for the section B of my corporate finance!

SOMEONE told me that i am really good looking and shouldn't be worried about meting sharon...well...i guess thats only what she thinks...no one else has the same mindset as her...at least not sharon...oh well...its time to study again...

One of my greatest fear beside croaches..

One of the greatest challenge in my life is coming up today....well at least it is coming soon...probably later in the afternoon..when i am going to pass something to someone...

WEll i don't know if you guys guess it, but i am going to meet sharon tomorrow...i haven't seen her since we broke up...and its been more than a year and now its time i am going to meet her again....well i seriously ain't sure if i am up to the challenge.

When she message me just now regarding what time to meet later on...my mind went blank...i suddenly became nervous and scared! my heart pump double faster than its normal rate...time seems to pass by at a slower pace...my whole life seems to pause for a moment...when i am thinking of the fact that i am really going to meet her tomorrow..

Now the first thing that comes to my mind is that maybe i don't need to see her...i could leave it with the security guard at the lobby and ask her to collect it so i wouldn't have to see her...well after lots and lots of thinking and planning...i am going to implement the plan.

The reason that i don't wanna meet her its because partly...well my ego is in the way....but most importantly i am too ashamed to see her...and to let her see me...i don't want her to look down on me...or worst....take a pity of me...

Maybe its all because of my ego...but i seriously...think i do not have enough courage to bring myself up from the low i am now to see her...i can't accept the fact that even after so long i am still thinking of her...i can't accept the fact that...i am at the bottom of the pit looking up at her when she is up in the sky...while i am drowning in misery and self pity.

It also hit me...when one day i bump into her on the streets...i will never acknowledge the fact that its me... i will never be able to do that...i will run away from her...or if she didn't see me i will avoid her as far as possible....okie maybe that was bit over...but the thing is...i seriously...can't bring myself to look at her or into her eyes....i will definately look down if we bump into each other...i will definately see if her boobs got any bigger!!! NO!!! i mean...i am embarrass to look at her!! damn...!!

I can't even face her...or talk to her...but what i might be really afraid of is...when she saw me..she might...be glad that she left me....or even worst she doesn't feel anything when meeting me...she would just think its just meeting someone...and not me...its just someone who happen to know her....

I am afraid i am no longer who i was to her...but just someone who isn't anyone to her....probably thats the most important aspect of my fear.

You know when i was with alex..i thought hey...i think i got over sharon...but when alex left....i thought she will take over sharon as the person i will miss and think of the most...but it did not happen as i expected... sharon just seems to sip back into my memories.

It just seems like yesterday i was still with sharon when i went to parkway today...i couldn't hide the fact that when i was walking around...i thought sharon was beside me....but she wasn't....why is this happening? whats wrong?

People asked me...okie actually no one asked me...but the thing is i kept thinking when will i be able to stand up and meet her face to face or even talk to her on the phone....well i ain't sure...it may take foever to forget about her...or well it might take another relationship to bring myself away from this alluring clutches...(I say that because she will never be mine anymore yet it keep drawing me towards it)....

What i am gong to do? or what should/must i do to be able to break free?

2 options: i might be able to win her back.....or...i really fall into another relationship....well who knows....anything might happen..

okie...enough of the fact that i can't bring myself to see her...just hope the security trick works later in the afternoon.

my little regrets! during valentine's day

i somehow manage to go out on a date with my friend who like me isn't attached!

We went to play pool and guess what? Midway through the game....3 girls came into the pool salon. and guess what again....2 of them was actually pretty...no joke!! yes!! they are pretty!

actually to be more specific...one of them had the looks...kinda like dennis keller, and the other one has the figure for guys like me to die for! she not only had boobs but not to mention she also has a butt which almost more than half od the population doesn't possess...

Somehow there is this strong belief that..if i were to appraoch and talk to them...i would probably be able to know them...and the best part was...they didn't have a curfew...I mean it has to be that case since, they were playing pool at 11pm...and even after we left they were still going on strong...

But apparently i didn't manage to appraoch and setup a simple conversation. I somehow think they were interested in me too...but why didn't i approach them...damn!! i kinda have some regrets when i left the place...it still burns in my heart now...i am feel with regrets now...i so let myself down so big time!!

why why why!! but i am still think which i should choose? the one with the looks or the one with the figure? which one? its a huge dilemma... looks or figure? erm... i am very tempted to go for the one with the figure?

aiyah whats over is over now. no point broading over it....damn damn damn

And the best thing about going out and seeing girls on valentine's day was that you bound to know that they are single and waiting for guys like me to pick them up...and then i am going back to ask the question of why didn't i approach them? why why why??? damn damn damn..

Talking about my ex again?

Someone just said sharon was hot!! and all the good stuff about her...now seriously...what am i suppose to say?

that she is really hot and yes she is a good catch? comeon! i don't even talked to her no more..she and i are no longer together and we don't even bump into each other on the road anymore...she is like literally part of my history....no where in sight...

so there is no point talking about anyting related to her anymore...

I think i really am suitable to be single...there are too much stuff you have to look out for being attached...too much things you have to plan for too much trouble to go through too much quarrels and too much disappointments and too much money spent and too much emotional unhappiness and too much jealousy and too much do's and don'ts..

being in a relationship is too much for me to handle.

I am just a guy who wants to enjoy my life as much as possible by trying not to be upset.....life is like a bottle of vodka....its not expensive..

AMITABHA!

do butches get free entry on ladies night? or do they have to pay double?

Do butches get free entry on ladies night? that is the question!

or do they have to pay double? since they are actually occupying a space in the club and actually act as a deterrence factor to for guys. Because they get turn off by seeing butches in the club! Besides most butches ain't the huge spenders!

ITs the uncles who hates butches that are the huge spenders! so...the price range should include ladies - $15, man - $20, butches - $35+++ (plus cost of uncles, cost of normal guy and cost of additional space taken up)

Now you must be thinking how about those shemale or artificial ladies...well well its really a simple question...cause when uncles get drunk they will still think that this shemale or trans are really sexy which they are...but no matter how drunk the uncle gets...he will never think that a butch is pretty...he will still think a butch needs to be butchered!

so at the end of the day trans are still welcome to the crowd...beside they do attract those ignorant ang moh! what can i say...

next topic!!!
To know how patriotic you are. ask yourself this question..do you want your singapore citzenship or a million dollars and china's passport.

This is a million dollar question...no joke!

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for the most minor things. LIKE when some other country burning your flag. how partiotic is singaporeans? do they harbour hatrated when they see their flag got burn down? or they have gotten use to it?

but patriotism is a huge issuse...in terms of social being and economic growth. When a person is more patriotic, they are more willing to contribute to the economy in a positive manner. example, if a businessman would to be patriotic, he would most probably would want to setup his headquaters here in singapore instead of some other low cost countries. why is this so? because he believes in his country and his people. this is the result of patriotism. It might only be a word, but its a powerful word.

Thats why most japanese firms still have their HQ in japan. Because they believe that its the most efficient country in the world...and even if it isn't they have faith that they are able to make it the most efficient country in the world.

Its not only in japanese context...but i am just stating an example. The creative owner seems like a patriotic guy. He could have neglect his country and start off elsewhere...but he didn't...because he believes in this mini country that brought him up and raise him.

Therefore patriotism can be considered as an important aspect of economic growth.

Remember if you ain't been through army you ain't a man, so stop pretending to be a man if you ain't have a dick. (excluding real man who can't serve due to injuries)

Losing my way(aim) by justin timberlake

Losing my way(aim) by justin timberlake its really a nice a touching song i can so feel it. i change a little bit of the lyrics well to make it less touching...feel it

Hey excuse me

Hi my dick is brown and I need a blow job
I spend forty-seven dollars a day
I used to be a marksman in my hometown
'til I started to lose my aim
It all goes back to when I left my ex
while i was having fun jerking at home
But now I got a problem with that little white stuff
See I can't shoot out the pipe

And...

And it's breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While no cum comes out
Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down
No more flings around...
And my cum drips out...
Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there screw me?
'Cause I can't seem to screw myself
Can anybody out there suck me?
'Cause I can't seem to suck myself...
There's gotta be a brothel somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my aim
Keep losing my aim...
Keep losing my aim...
baby help me find my aim?
Losing my aim
Keep losing my aim
Keep losing my aim...
baby help me find my aim?

Now you gotta understand I was a friendly man
I would have screw anything that i own
But I couldn't get a grip on my new found bitch
So I ended up all alone
I remember where I was when I got my first buzz
See I thought I was living the life
And the craziest thing is I'll probably never know if i have a daughter's in
my life

And it is breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While my cum drips out
Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down
No more fling around...
And my balls fall down...
Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there fuck me?
'Cause I can't seem to fuck myself
Can anybody out there blow me?
'Cause I can't seem to blow myself
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself.

Losing my aim
Keep losing my aim
Keep losing my aim
Can you help find my aim?
Losing my aim
Keep losing my aim
Keep losing my aim
Can you help me find my aim?

Oh my god please forgive me (father hear my pray)
'Cause I know I've worn some thongs in this life
If I could do it all again
Have just one more chance
To take all those thongs and make them tight oohhh!!

Can anybody out there screw me?
'Cause I can't seem to screw myself
Can anybody out there suck me?
'Cause I can't seem to suck myself...
There's gotta be a brothel somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Can anybody out there screw me?
'Cause I can't seem to screw myself
Can anybody out there suck me?
'Cause I can't seem to suck myself...
There's gotta be a brothel somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself


fucking my bed
Keep fucking my bed
Keep fucking my bed
Can you help me fuck my bed?
fucking my bed
Keep fucking my bed

girls that are a nightmare to me

Girls that i am tired of dating:

1. hardcore religious - I don't give a damn if you god is the real god i don't care you god wins over other god i don't care if your god have better blessing then other god...i just don't care about your god damn god!

damn...i always wanted to say that...now i feel so so so much better after i let out all my frustration....god here god there god is everywhere...then where am i suppose to be. If by not god damn believing in him/her i will not get enlightenment! Then i will just say screw the god damn bloddy enlightenment!

No one will ever threaten me and force me to join any religion of believe in any god i wouldn't be interested in! if you want me to marry your god given daughter then don't force me to believe in your god! i ain't no dog.

2. harcore curfew - Think about it...when you are lonely and upset at night what do you really need most? a glass of milk? ba chor mee? or a porno magazine? wrong what you really need is the girl you love most being by your side hugging you and consoling you....nothing beats that more... not even ba chor mee dry with chilly.

therefore its really just understandable that hardcore curfew girls is a strictly no no.

3. hardcore childish - this encompass all the factors a guy wouldn't like his gf to be. like possesive and being a control freak this and that...well as a guy you should know i shall not really touch on this topic too much.

4. hardcore demanding - now this is really getting a serious problem. i am not kidding. no joking manner. we should all face it using a very serious tone and mentality. think about it...after a long day of work you still have to accompany your gf? well okie if it only happens once in a while but...then for few days consecutively isn't really a laughing matter.

well it doesn't only apply to just meeting your gf after work. how about helping your gf to carry her HANDBAG? now this is really a demanding part from my view...i don't know how many of my friends are nice enough to help their gf to carry their handbag around but it will never happen to me. I don't mind helping out to carry it for a short-while (eg. like when she is trying shoes) but walking around orchard with a lady's handbag that obviously doesn't suit you...i am sorry but its not my kinda thing. I may not be a very macho kinda guy...but i just find it impossible for me to do a thing like that.

I have nothing against those guys that did it... its just out of pure respect for their gf i think. But seriuosly...sometimes it relaly get out hand when the guy actually treat the HANDBAG like part of their accessories.. and taking tissue out of the bag for her gf....it turns out as if the girl is bringing a assistant out rather than going out with her bf.

You call that equalilty between sexes? i doubt so...you are treating your boyfriend worst than how you would treat a friend. would you ask you friend to be your unpaid assistant? i guess not! so you sincerely going to account that kinda treatment as equality between sexes...sorry i just couldn't accept.

Now now you must be thinking no wondered you ain't attached and probably ain't going to get attached.....then i will just have to say i am sorry for being ME!

I shall not write for the sake of writing

I feel like writing something but i do not have the insipiration to write any damn shit! so i shall not write for the sake of writing.

amitabha